


Truly Boss-level

by Yalys (MoiMoi)



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Gay crisis, M/M, Pining, Team Mom Tsuzuru, did I say slow burn, slowish burn, spoiler free, spring troupe shenanigans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:17:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23819743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoiMoi/pseuds/Yalys
Summary: Tsuzuru feels somewhat responsible for Itaru, he also can't really get over how damn beautiful he is.Starts from the very beginning so it has no spoilers if you've played the game in English only.
Relationships: Minagi Tsuzuru/Chigasaki Itaru
Comments: 66
Kudos: 90





	1. Chapter 1

Tsuzuru Minagi was happy he had joined the Mankai Company, for a variety of reasons. One being that they let him write their scripts. Not all companies would trust a young writer right off the bat, but Izumi gave him a chance, and with a gust of inspiration from watching the original Spring troupe's work, he'd somehow managed to pull off a stunt of writing a full length script in a week. No doubt sacrificing sleep had been worth it.

Another being that being a part of the Company came with room and board, which was more than he'd ever hoped to find. As a student coming from a large family, money was always tight and the part time jobs never-ending. Finally he could cut himself loose from a few of those, and focus more on what he was passionate about.

And last but not least, Itaru Chigasaki was there.

It was strange how vividly Tsuzuru could remember seeing Itaru for the first time. Outside on Veludo Road, when they were recruiting new members. Trying to recruit, more precisely. It wasn't going well and they were really just a ragtag team of beginners. Experienced actors would definitely want to sign up with an established theater instead.

During some street act shenanigans, Sakuya had accidentally bumped into a young businessman, and Tsuzuru picked up that the man was looking at apartments and rooms for rent in the area. Thinking back, it was a crazy thing to ask someone to join a theater troupe just because they were looking for a place to stay. Crazy and stupid.

But when Itaru looked back at him with mild surprise, Tsuzuru's heart briefly stopped. He"d honestly never seen a man so handsome. No, not just handsome. Beautiful. He had captivating eyes in a pink hue, and gentle wavy two-toned blond hair. He was soft-spoken and polite, and interested in their offer. And so, Itaru was the last person to join the Sprint troupe and complete the requirements of having at least five members.

Tsuzuru wrote their first script, 'Romeo & Julius', with the actors in mind for their roles and he cast Itaru as Tybalt and himself as Mercutio, thinking Tybalt was a fitting role and Itaru could make it look very cool. That also meant he'd get compared to Tybalt by the audience, but to heck with that. They had only five members. It was decent casting, if all worked out.

But both Tsuzuru and Izumi noticed early on at practice that there was something lackluster about Itaru's attitude during rehearsals, and especially about how easily he left while the others – mainly Sakuya – wanted to keep going.

It wasn't that he wasn't trying his best, but he certainly wasn't giving his all, and it made his performance bland, despite his striking looks. Tsuzuru was certain he could stand out more if his acting got better. But then again they all needed to improve a lot, including himself. At this rate, they were heading to a big old flop.

Tsuzuru was still in the kitchen when Izumi came in, clutching her phone and looking distraught.

“Oh, Tsuzuru,” Izumi gasped when she saw him in the kitchen, as if she didn't expect anyone to be there.

“Geez, you look so shocked. Want some tea?” he asked, smiling.

“Oh, well. Sure.” Izumi replied, but she didn't sound like she wanted tea, more like she was uncertain what to do. Something was wrong, that much was obvious.

“Are you okay? Did something happen?” Tsuzuru asked, turning to her while the kettle was heating up.

“Uhm... yeah. It's Itaru... he told me he wanted to quit...”

“What?”

That would be a disaster... Romeo & Julius would not work with even one person missing...

“He told you that just now?”

“He called me... I suppose he was in his room, I didn't ask.”

Tsuzuru frowned. He called? When he could've come out of his room and told her, or all of them, in person? Gamer persona or not, that was unacceptable.

“I'm going to talk to Itaru,” he said, and stormed out of the kitchen, leaving a confused director behind. Seriously, what kind of adult was he?

In front of Itaru's door, he stopped. It was still good manners to knock, so he did. Of course there was no answer, which gave him the right to check the door knob. This was an emergency, of sorts. Not locked. Good. Tsuzuru opened the door and stepped into the dark and messy room.

“Oi!” He called out to Itaru but the man was occupied by whatever game he was playing, and despite his anger/disappointment, Tsuzuru was smart enough to let him finish first. He got closer until he stood only a few steps behind Itaru's massive gaming chair and waited.

It was a little shocking at first, to discover that the proper businessman during the day turned into a hardcore gamer at night. Especially because of the huge personality gap between the two versions of Itaru, and Tsuzuru was convinced the real Itaru was positioned somewhere in between. If anything, in a way he found it impressive that the man had the will and strength to fake his day-personage so well.

After a few minutes, the in-game fight ended in a win and a shout of triumph from Itaru. He took off his headset and turned around in his chair.

“What do you want?”

Oh but, that didn't take away that gamer-Itaru managed to trigger Tsuzuru's nerves.

“What do you think?” Tsuzuru answered, crossing his arms.

Itaru shrugged.

“You seriously said 'We're all in this together.' two days ago and now you're talking about quitting? What's up with that?”

Itaru got up from his chair and scratched the back of his head. “I'm sorry,” he said plainly, and walked right past Tsuzuru towards the door. “Gonna grab something to snack on.”

Tsuzuru turned on his heels and instinctively grabbed Itaru's arm. He couldn't help but notice how slender and lightweight the man was as he easily pulled him back to face him.

“Oh no you don't. I don't care if it's because you're not into theater, but we have no time to replace you. You can't do this to the troupe!”

“I am sorry. Please let go.” Itaru's voice softened a little.

Tsuzuru took a deep breath and released his grasp, but he still didn't get any answers.

“Look, we already came this far. I could tell from the start that you weren't super up for acting, but you're improving. We really need you... I really...”

Tsuzuru stopped. He realized he was looking away from Itaru while making his point. What was he afraid of? He blinked and looked at the older man, in his loose gamer getup with his fringe as a palm tree. He should've looked stupid, but he still looked beautiful. What a curse that must be...

“I wrote the role of Tybalt for you, and I really want to see you pull trough. If that means something to you.”

It took Itaru a while to react, but his face remained expressionless as he stared back at Tsuzuru. “I'll think about it.”

Itaru turned and left the room.

It wasn't much, the script-writer realized, but it was better than nothing. He also didn't want to force him to stay, but Spring troupe would, for a lack of better phrasing, be very much fucked if their Tybalt noped out at this point in time. And that would mean their play couldn't happen, or it would just not be good enough to ever fulfill any of Sakyo's conditions. Sell out the last day... oh boy.

“Itaru!” Tsuzuru followed Itaru outside and called after him. “The director may be in the kitchen.”

It was a warning. For some reason, Tsuzuru couldn't find himself responsible for having the director and Itaru see each other now. Maybe Itaru really needed time to sort out his thoughts before Izumi possibly faced him again with his declaration. Was he being considerate for Itaru's sake? Perhaps. Did he want to avoid conflicts? Preferably.

“If you want a snack I"ll go grab something,” he added.

Itaru had a mildly concerned look in his eyes when he backtracked and retreated in his room. “I'll take you up on that,” he said, smiled, and closed the door.

“Hermit...” Tsuzuru muttered, and went back to the kitchen.

Izumi was indeed still there, holding a cup of hot tea. “I made you a cup already,” she said, and after a little pause: “How did it go?”.

Tsuzuru tilted his head a little. “I may or may not have gotten my point across. He said he'd think about it.”

“Oh... well, it's better than nothing, but to me he said he'd been thinking a lot before he made his decision, so I hope it makes a difference...”

“Me too. We really have no time to find someone else, and if we can't make this play work...”

“Please don't remind me,” Izumi groaned, pressing her fingers to her forehead.

“Sorry, this must be tough.”

Tsuzuru opened the fridge. Itaru had wanted a snack but what would he have gotten? There wasn't so much in there... Oh, wait. Mini pizza seemed like a bad habit that gamers and students alike could bond over. He took the bag out of the fridge and popped one in the toaster, earning him a questionable look from Izumi.

"Late-night snack?" she asked. A hint of judgement in her voice. She may not have been a good actress, but her true feelings were very clearly visible.

“It's for Itaru,” Tsuzuru answered truthfully. “I said I'd bring him something.”

Izumi raised one brow, but didn't pursue the subject further.

“Tsuzuru, you're too nice... Don't spoil him too much.”

He chuckled. “I know.” He was well aware of both facts, yet sometimes he wished he could be stricter. He could be, right? After all he had so many siblings he used to take care of...

Izumi went to her room after finishing the tea, and Tsuzuru sipped from his own cup while waiting for the pizza to be done. Once the toaster pinged, he put it on a plate, cut it and brought it to Itaru. Okay, maybe he didn't have to cut it. But it was too late now.

Tsuzuru knocked on the door again – a good, proper habit – but opened the door right after. The lights were on, and surprisingly the lights were on and Itaru was gathering stuff in a garbage bag. It kind of frightened Tsuzuru, because his first thought was that Itaru might really be preparing to move out if he was cleaning up.

“I hope this is okay,” he said, putting the plate on the low table, now that there was actual space.

“More than okay,” Itaru answered as he saw the steaming pizza. He put the garbage bag aside and popped open a can of soda. “Thanks, Tsuzuru.”

Although Tsuzuru had planned to leave after bringing over the food, he lingered, looking around. “Are you cleaning up because you're...”

Itaru gave him a look. “I'm cleaning up because I'm a responsible adult every once in a while. And because people like you or the director would nag on me.” The man plopped down on the couch and grabbed a piece of pizza.

Unwillingly, Tsuzuru found himself bursting out a laugh. This guy was incredible. But at least Itaru had opened up enough to them to stop pretending. Once he got back to the dorm, his work-mode was off, and his home-mode was on. Although arguably there was his practice-mode, which was closer to work-mode... maybe one day, hopefully, Itaru would just be Itaru. And Tsuzuru would give a lot to see that happen.

“Well then, good night, Itaru-san,” Tsuzuru said, a smile still on his face.

“Night,” Itaru mumbled back, waving with his free hand.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day went just as usual. Itaru showed up for practice too, and he'd been following Izumi's personal regime as well. Tsuzuru found it hard to believe that Itaru had a good reason for wanting to quit besides a lack of enthusiasm or just wanting to play games more. Those weren't really reasons he could personally accept, but then again he was no hardcore gamer, but if he were maybe he'd understand his way of thinking.

In the early evening, while Sakuya was doing some homework and Tsuzuru was reading another script that he borrowed from the library, he received a text from Izumi.

Oh man, definitely hoping he'd stay. It made him feel jittery and he couldn't concentrate on his script anymore, so he took his phone and just started browsing instablam. Looks like Miyoshi is having a good time, he thought as he saw a selfie of a young man with bleached hair and the widest smile. His outgoing senpai from high school posted a lot, but at the moment Tsuzuru didn't mind. Thinking back, he hadn't really told Miyoshi or anyone else about the fact that he joined a theater company yet. Maybe he should do that sometime soon.

A good 20 minutes later, he got another text from the director saying that Itaru was considering to stay but he was still uncertain, and that he'd tell them about his doubts. Relieved, Tsuzuru got back to his reading. He was really glad Izumi had somehow convinced Itaru to reconsider. Unfortunately, that might mean that his own words didn't mean all that much.

At evening practice, they were all gathered as Izumi announced that Itaru had something to tell them. Since Tsuzuru was already aware of the situation, he was observing the reactions of the others. Masumi of course didn't show a glimpse of interest, Sakuya was curious, and Citron seemed excited – but he was just like that most of the time.

As Itaru explained that he was seriously thinking of quitting, but was staying for now, they were all surprised. Like Tsuzuru, Citron kind of seemed to understand where he was coming from, Masumi didn't care – or didn't show any care, and Sakuya was downright in shock.

Itaru made a good point saying that he couldn't match Sakuya's enthusiasm, but Izumi countered that very well. Yet Tsuzuru had the feeling that it wasn't all there was to it, after all. He looked at Izumi's face too, wondering what went on in the conversation she had with Itaru before.

There was a bit of a strange atmosphere between them during practice, but after they were done and Itaru had disappeared into his room, Sakuya got hold of Tsuzuru with a kind of serious expression on his face.  
“Tsuzuru, will you join us in a plan to make Itaru-san stay?” he asked.

Tsuzuru nodded. “Sure, I guess. I really don't want him to quit, either.”

“Okay, come with me then. We'll discuss a strategy,” Sakuya continued.

Tsuzuru couldn't help but laugh a little. “secret strategies are not the thing I expected to hear from you,” he admitted.

Sakuya in turn blushed a little and shook his head. “It was Citron who said we needed 'stratistics' but well, Masumi translated. He's also coming.”

“Masumi is joining?”

“Yeah, well. For the director, as you might expect. But I'm glad,” Sakuya said, and they sort of sneakily headed off.

Stratistics huh... Citron was something else. But he had his heart in the right place.  
It was the first time they'd actually gathered in one of the dorm rooms instead of in the practice room or the lounge.

“So I was wondering, what would make Itaru-san want to stay?” Sakuya said, thinking out loud.

“Free bed and broad is good, I think,” Citron added.

“Room and board, you mean. Yeah, that's why he joined in the first place, but it's not what's going to make him stay,” Tsuzuru replied.

“He's upset by Yuzo-san,” Masumi said.

“Yuzo-san was kind of harsh to him...especially if he already had thoughts of quitting...” Sakuya remembered.

“Yeah, it hits pretty hard to be told to get out... But Itaru is also a gamer, and if I'm not wrong he hates to lose.” Tsuzuru sighed. But not enough to stay and prove Yuzo wrong. All he cared about were his games... “How can we make him more interested in theater...”

“Oh, we must make him see that acting is fun,” Citron said dramatically.

Tsuzuru looked around at the others. “He's right. We have to make him see... no, feel that acting is fun. Our current practice is tough, we're not entirely familiar with our roles and with each other, so everyone is holding back..."

“What if we do an improvisation for him?” Sakuya suggested, the sparkle returning to his eyes.

Tsuzuru nodded. “Yes, good idea! But we have to involve him... he has to be a part of it, even if he's totally unprepared. Did you have something in mind, Sakuya?”

“Hmm, no, I just thought of acting...”

“We show that we"ll miss him,” Citron said, clutching air. Everything he did when he wanted to make a point was so dramatic, but it was kind of funny. Tsuzuru knew Itaru thought so, too.

“Like a family,” Masumi said softly.

“A family...” Sakuya repeated, looking at Masumi with a slightly painful expression. Both boys had complicated family histories, so their own experience must play a part in how they perceive what a good family should be like. Which is first and foremost, together...

“That's it...” Tsuzuru got an idea. “We have to make him feel that we want him to stay, but also to make him have fun.”

“What if Itaru-san is our dad, who's leaving,” Sakuya suggested.

“And we play the kids...” Tsuzuru added. “Citron, you're at your best when overacting. Maybe you can be the devastated mother. The father is leaving them, but no one wants him to."

“That sounds good,” Sakuya piped up enthusiastically. Masumi nodded, and Citron was already practicing dramatic crying. They fleshed out the idea some more before deciding they had everything covered.

“All right. Let's do that then, tomorrow when morning practice ends?” Tsuzuru suggested.

“Okay, I will do practice in my head,” Citron said, and Sakuya laughed.

Tsuzuru and Masumi went back to their room, and while the high school student went straight to bed, Tsuzuru picked up the script for Romeo & Julius.

If he did a better job at portraying Mercutio, then it would also help Itaru to get into his role as Tybalt. After all, they were true rivals, and they'd be doing stage fighting as well. It would also help to get a feel of the character once they had costumes to wear, and maybe if Itaru had a dormant love for cosplaying, it would help him feel like he's a character from a game...

Tsuzuru sighed and hoped their little improv act in the morning would amuse Itaru. Please.

In the morning he had to practically roll Masumi out of bed and tempt him with 'the director will be pleased to see you' to actually make him come along on time for morning practice.

The atmosphere was a little weird this time because Citron and Sakuya kept chuckling for no reason and were obviously distracted by their battle plan. If Izumi noticed, she decided not to pay attention to it. It was also high time they started on the stage fights, to make sure they got the movements down.

Once practice was over, the four of them nodded at each other and set the plan in motion.

Sakuya grabbed Itaru's sleeve, and made a pretty convincing “Dad! Don't leave!” scene. Tsuzuru added to the act by playing the concerned older brother, and Itaru, realizing what they were doing was taken aback, but he laughed a bit. “Hey now, don't tell me...”

“Darling! Don't leave us,” Citron cried, pretending to wipe tears. “I'll be a better wife!”

“Please, dad. We know about your gambling and drinking problems.”  
“Mom married you knowing about them too.”  
“I love you just as you are, I will go feed the sloths with you!”  
“Please, dad, we need you here!”

Itaru breathed in and started laughing. It was the first time Tsuzuru had seen him laugh like this. Itaru was often smiling, but it was a well-practiced professional smile. Sometimes he chuckled, or he let out a small cry of joy when pulling good gacha results. But a hearty laugh like this was the first time.

Tsuzuru relaxed his shoulders.  
“Itaru-san... don't you think acting can be fun and interesting?” Tsuzuru asked carefully.

“Tsuzuru... Sakuya, Masumi... Mom... You've made your point clear,” Itaru said, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.

“I'll stay, at least until the end of Romeo & Julius,” Itaru declared.

Sakuya and Citron gave cheers and high-fived, and Masumi was eyeing Izumi, who had come to watch what the commotion was about.

“Thank you,” Tsuzuru said, holding out a hand to Itaru. “I'll show you that acting can be just as fun and engaging as gaming.”

Itaru took his hand, and shook it. “You set yourself a tough task.”

Even though Tsuzuru was very caught up in their successful operation, when he looked into Itaru's eyes, his mind went blank for a moment. It really was unfair. Tsuzuru had never had this kind of feeling for anyone, and now he let himself be mesmerized by a businessman/gamer a couple years older than him.

But damn him if he wasn't going to keep true to his word. Actually, their predicament made Tsuzuru a lot more motivated, and with a light-hearted feeling he headed out for his morning lecture.

At lunchtime, he met Miyoshi, a cheerful second-year at Veludo Art Academy and got talked into having lunch together. Miyoshi was really easy to talk to, in part because he hardly ever shut up himself, but also showed interest in what other people were up to, and so Tsuruzu came to talk about the theater troupe.

“Tsuzuroon, you're doing theater? Way cool!”

“You think so? I thought you'd think it's old-fashioned and lame...”

“Gosh, no! I think it defo has a retro flair, but theater acting is really impressive!”

“That is really true... we got chewed out by a pro recently and everyone hit a low point, but I think it helped us get closer, and we all got personal tasks to improve on what we lack.”

“Fam! That sounds awesome. What're you performing?”

Tsuzuru scratched the back of his head. “Romeo & Julius... it's- it's not like, a romance. It's about friendship. I wrote it, actually.”

“Tsuzuroon...” Miyoshi crossed his arms and leaned closer, looking at Tsuzuru's face.  
“Are you secretly like, super talented? Should I get your sign now?”

“Wha- Miyoshi-san, don't get so close!”

“Hehe. But for reals tho, that's cool. Save me a ticket!”

“I might get more nervous knowing someone I know is in the audience, but all right.”  
Tsuzuru nodded.

He was a little surprised about his senpai's reaction to his theater hobby, but excited at the same time. Besides, if they needed promotion to sell tickets it could be helpful if Miyoshi could share their info on his instablam account. He had a ton of followers from their old high school high school and the academy.

“All right, gotta jet,” Miyoshi said, checking the time. “Was good hanging with you again, we should defo do that more.”

Tsuzuru nodded. Easier said than done, being busy students and having the widest friend group ever. “See you around!”

Miyoshi rushed off in the direction of his campus, leaving Tsuzuru to finish the rest of his convenience store ice coffee. He didn't have afternoon class anymore, but he was supposed to work on a project. He got up from the bench they'd been sitting on to eat and started walking back to the Mankai dorms.

On the way, he got distracted by a street act. Was that God Troupe? They sure gathered a crowd, and Tsuzuru stopped by to watch. Now that he was acting himself, he saw things a little in a different light. This was another dramatic display, and the tension from the actors even made the audience completely silent.

As he watched the climax unfold, he realized what had been lacking in his own acting. It wasn't just that he wasn't entirely in touch with his character, and was too focused on his own script, but his delivery wasn't imposing enough. He had to do a better job of portraying both sides of Mercutio, the one he was when he was only with Romeo, and the one he was when facing off against Tybalt.

Excited, he returned home, and instead of starting to work on his project – that would become another late-night session – he started marking his own lines in two different colors to mark the difference in attitude.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note that my chronology isn't exactly the same as it is in the game because I'm legit mixing up the game, the stage play and the anime as reference ^^;;


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter that the tag 'spring troupe shenanigans' was made for.

Sometimes, Sakuya, Tsuzuru and Citron stayed in the dorm lounge after dinner. The three of them liked to have company, while Masumi preferred to be alone, and Itaru was off gaming. Sakuya was doing his homework, while Tsuzuru and Citron were on duty to do the dishes and were finishing up. 

Since the Mankai dorm was a little old, they didn't have a dishwasher in the kitchen, although Tsuzuru thought it would be difficult to do the dishes by hand if the dorms were ever to be full.

But those were thoughts for later. They first had to make the Spring troupe performance a success or there was no future for them.

“Hey, Tsuzuru?” Citron asked.

“Hm?”

“I dink someding wong wif ma dong,” the young man said.

“You  _ what _ ?” Tsuzuru turned to him, seeing that Citron was putting his tongue out, trying to look at it.

“Dude, speak normally, that's hard enough.”

“I think something is wrong with my dong.”

“Your tongue, you mean. Don't- say dong. Sakuya's here.”

“Ohh is that a bad word? I am so very sorry,” Citron apologized.

“Why do you think something's wrong?” Tsuzuru asked, putting away the last pieces of cutlery. This may be Citron, but at the same time because it was him, it was important to make sure he really was okay or just fooling around.

“I bite it, not on porpuse, and it hurts.”

“Huh? You bit your tongue? That happens to the best of us and it sure hurts, yeah.”

“No, no,” Citron shook his head. “Not past tents, I bite it, now too. Look.”

Once again, Citron put out his tongue, for Tsuzuru to look at it.

“Oh, I see it. There's teeth marks on the sides… that’s maybe a little strange.”

“Can I see? Sakuya asked from the dining table, no longer paying attention to his homework.

“Ob cowze,” Citron said, heading over.

Tsuzuru sighed, but he had a gut feeling that you weren't supposed to be, biting down on your tongue unless by accident. He tried it himself, just biting down. His tongue wasn't in the way of doing so, which made him conclude that maybe there was something wrong.

“Ooh, it's true, I see it too. How come?”

“I close my mouth, see,” Citron explained, “but if I put my teeth together, my tongue is between them!”

“Lemme google that,” Tsuzuru said, pulling his phone from his hoodie pocket.

Meanwhile Sakuya was also putting his tongue out for Citron to see.

“Oh Sakuya your tongue is pink and cute. As cute as you!”

Sakuya laughed, a little blush of embarrassment on his cheeks.

“Uhm, Citron-san?” Tsuzuru called him over with a mildly concerned look on his face. “This page here says that uh, if your tongue is bigger than usual, there are too much toxins in your body.”

“Doxies? What are doxies?” Citron asked looking at the screen as well, even if he probably didn't understand half of it.

“Toxins are like, uhm, poison?” Tsuzuru explained, although he didn't know exactly what they were or what they did.

“Poison? Tsuzuru, am I going to die? Oh no!” Citron made a dramatic exclamation, and Sakuya's mouth formed a little o-shape in silence.

“No, no, you won't die... it's not like real poison, just that your organs aren't... let me read this entirely, ok?”

“Citron-san, it's okay! You’ll be fine!” Sakuya said, while getting up from his chair, and running over to the ornamental mirror in the living room to look at his own tongue.

Tsuzuru kept reading the health article, and he was puzzled that Citron would be having any physical problems at all. He seemed healthy and energetic enough.

“It says that the reason why your tongue is swollen is because your thyroid gland isn't working properly, so... it's basically that you need to detox?” Tsuzuru lowered his phone and looked at Citron.

“Dee-tocs? What's a tabloid bland?”

“Some organ in your throat. It says here to just start by drinking more water,” Tsuzuru explained. “What do you eat during the day? Aside from what we eat together?”

“Ohh in the morning I eat cereal or the director's breakfast! For lunch, I eat noodles or leftovers.”

That honestly didn't sound so bad. They all ate almost the same things since they were living together. Fruit was a bit sparse though, since getting enough fruit for seven people was expensive.

“What about snacks?”

“Snacks is like, cookies? I eat cookies. Sometimes potato chips, and gummies. I like sour gummies.”

Well... if he didn't binge on snacks, his eating pattern was normal. And Tsuzuru was no doctor, of course. It would do to just see if with drinking more water it would get better, and if it was really a problem they should take Citron to a doctor.

“You know, let's try to limit the snacks, okay? And drink lots of water. I don't think you're stressed... but it says that a lack of vitamin can also be part of it.”

Sakuya returned to the table, but was playing with his pencil.

“If Citron-san is going on a diet, maybe we should join him. To be nice.”

“Oh Sakuya!” Citron squealed and went to give their young troupe leader a hug.

Tsuzuru smiled at the sight and intentions of solidarity, until he realized that there was another person in their troupe who was very likely not paying attention to his diet at all. A man cooped up in his room who ate greasy foods as late-night snacks and combined it with soda. If anyone was in danger of having a swollen tongue, it was Itaru.

“Guys, what about Itaru-san,” Tsuzuru said, half afraid, half concerned.

Sakuya and Citron gasped.

“We must check in on him!” Citron said, Sakuya nodding fervently.

And so the three of them stormed up the stairs, and hurried to Itaru's room. As usual, they could hear the sounds of him tapping his keyboard from behind the door. As one, they all inhaled as Tsuzuru opened the door.

“I'm busy!” Itaru yelled at them, his eyes glued to the screen. Was he already getting used to unexpected visits?

“Oh, Itaru is doing brave battle,” Citron said quietly and seriously to the others. Sakuya nodded. It still scared Tsuzuru that Citron could tell at a glance what game it was and which level Itaru was at.

Having learned their lesson, they waited until he was done with his raid, or whatever this game was about, to talk to Itaru himself.

“What are you three up to now? We're already practising twice a day, you can't be thinking of adding more?”

Ah, gamer-Itaru was so blunt. But at least he wasn't pretending.

“Itaru-san, is your tongue bigger?” Sakuya asked in all straight-forward honesty.

“Is my what? What is this about?” Itaru's gaze went from Sakuya to Citron, and lastly rested upon Tsuzuru, obviously expecting an explanation from him. Tsuzuru sighed. It was too late to abort the mission, and he was a little worried about Itaru's lifestyle.

“Ah, well. We just discovered that Citron-san's got a swollen tongue which is probably because of a lack of vitamins and not drinking enough water. So we, uh...”

“Show me your tongue, Itaru!” Citron said and jumped forward.

“I'll turn on the light,” Sakuya said as he ran to the door to flick the switch.

“Get- off me, you weird-” Itaru refused to open his mouth, but Citron got him and held his arms behind his back as if he was a pro at it.

Tsuzuru was half frightened of the consequences, and half amused about the combined energy of Sakuya and Citron, and Itaru's retaliation. But in the end his amusement won, and he laughed a bit.

“Seriously, it's nothing bad, we were just worried... Citron-san, let him go.”

“Okay!” Citron did as he was told, and patted Itaru's head.

Itaru stretched his back and stood up straight, looking at Tsuzuru and Sakuya.

“You mean you worried because you think I'm a slob and I'm not healthy?”

Sakuya gasped and started to hide himself behind Tsuzuru.

“It sounds worse if you put it like that...” Tsuzuru tilted his head. “You're an adult so you should be able to take care of yourself, but just in case you haven't been feeling so well, maybe changing things up a bit would not be a bad thing?”

“Changing things up? Such as?” Itaru rubbed his arms before he crossed them defiantly. Tsuzuru was getting an increasingly bad feeling about this. Itaru was especially glaring at him, for some reason, and it made him nervous. He was glad he wasn’t here by himself this time.

“No snacks and water drinking!” Citron chimed in cheerfully, swaying in his wide pants, totally ignorant of Itaru’s murderous expression..

Itaru clicked his tongue in disapproval. “Unfortunately for you guys I'm perfectly fine.”

Sakuya looked around the room. Tsuzuru noticed that the stuff Itaru had cleaned up before seemed to have magically returned to their original places. He couldn't really judge other people, as his desk was usually pretty full with notes, books, pens, cups and the like. But it wasn't spread out over his entire room, at least.

Suddenly, Sakuya stepped forward, his hands balled in fists in stubborn resolve.

“Itaru-san, I- I was the one who said that maybe we could all watch our diet, to support Citron-san.”

Woah ten points for Sakuya, Tsuzuru thought. But the boy wasn't done yet.

“I also... think it would be good... to stop eating...greasy snacks.” By now his resolve was crumbling a little

But after a few seconds of silence and tension between them, Itaru's posture relaxed, and he unfolded his arms with a sigh. His expression also softened to be more like his daytime persona.

“That's just common sense and I'm well aware. I just get hungry at night.” There was a pause as Itaru kept looking at Sakuya. “I'll try to stay away from greasy snacks. That okay for you, leader?”

Sakuya beamed. “Yes!”

“All right then,” Tsuzuru said, “we've intruded long enough. Citron-san, come on, don't ogle his stuff.” Citron had wandered off and was looking at the bookcase which was full of games, manga, and light novels.

“Yes, sir Tsuzuru!” He happily turned and joined the others as they left Itaru's room.

Once outside in the cool air, Tsuzuru sighed deeply. “Sakuya, you've got guts.”

“A real leader!” Citron added, making Sakuya blush.

“Thank you very much! I just want everyone to be in good shape for practice!”

“I will do my breast!” Citron said with a wrongly fitting pat to his chest.

“Best, yeah?” Tsuzuru corrected swiftly, but smiling. “I guess we should be... practice is really physically tough, so wonder what performing on stage for so long will be like...”

“We should ask Yuzo-san about it next time he comes to our rehearsal,” Sakuya suggested.

“Good idea. And this time we have to make him take back what he said to us before.”

“Yes! I will say my lines without errors!”

Tsuzuru nodded. He gave Citron only a few lines exactly so he'd  _ be _ able to say them properly, and that was a basic requirement. Still, if he had to be honest, having Citron around really lightened up the mood more than the guy himself might realize. Or maybe he did. It was hard to tell... Now it would be ideal if Masumi started being a little more sociable as well. Why did spring troupe have two hermits anyway?

At least both Masumi and Itaru showed up on time for evening practice, which went fairly well, as they started to figure out how to do the stage fighting. One advantage of Itaru and his game-obsession was that he had some sense of how to make some moves with a sword, so that combined with Tsuzuru's memory of sword fights in movies helped them a bit to come up with a choreography.

Izumi and the others acted as their audience to check how people would see it and what would have a bigger impact. This practice and repeating the same steps and moves over and over until they were in perfect sync would definitely take up a large part of their rehearsals from here on, but meanwhile Sakuya and Masumi could practice their interactions as the main characters.

By the time they were done, both Tsuzuru and Itaru were sweating.

“Man, I'm exhausted,” Tsuzuru said, after getting a few good gulps of water.

“Totally. I don't have the stamina for this,” Itaru agreed.

“Guess we have to level up for more LP,” Tsuzuru joked.

“Very funny,” the adult commented flatly. 

But when Tsuzuru looked at him, he caught Itaru smiling a little, and found that his attitude was changing bit by bit. If they could somehow make time for exercising, that would be great, but both of them had either work or school next to their already harsh practice schedule, so that was impossible for now. They'd have to make do with the time they had at rehearsals to get used to moving around so much.

“Well, I'm going to take a shower,” Itaru said and nodded to Tsuzuru. “Otsu~.”

“Yeah, you too,” Tsuzuru answered, a little flustered.

Should he go shower too? Of course he should, he was drenched in sweat. Besides, they lived in a dorm with a shared bathroom with showers and tub, they would inevitably shower at the same time once in a while. Tsuzuru shook his head. He was being stupid, yet he purposely waited before going himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bless Citron.


	4. Chapter 4

Halfway before the premiere of Romeo & Julius, they were once again forced to face a hash reality. Matsukawa had gathered up old costumes and props from the storage, but they were in no state to be used anymore.

“Smells like grandma's old attic,” Masumi said, pinching his nose.

“These are awful... but we can't perform without costumes,” Izumi said, in despair.

“Worry not,” Matsukawa interjected happily. “I've got some people in mind to fix costumes and stage props. Let me see if I can contact them!”

“Is he being... reliable for once?” Itaru questioned with disbelief.

Matsukawa did deliver short after, by bringing in Yuki Rurikawa and Tetsuro to work on costumes and props. Yuki's visit was short but it brought a whirlwind about as he assigned everyone some rather unkind nicknames as he went along, checking the cast and roles. Tetsuro was stranger, but kinder. Matsukawa claimed that he was talking, but no one heard him speak a single word.

Later at dinner they were talking about being curious what outfits Yuki would design.

“Can you pass me the salt, Villager C?” Itaru said with a straight face.

Tsuzuru grumbled. “Can you not, Itaru-san?” He did get him the salt.

“At least it sounds like you're in a game,” he said with a shrug.

“I think elite swindler sounds a lot cooler.”

Sakuya and Citron nodded, Masumi wasn't even paying attention as he kept true to his own nickname and was mainly staring at the director.

\--

A few days later, the topic of ticket sales came up, and Matsukawa proudly showed the official website to the rest of the group. Only Sakuya had seen it before, and he already made a cringy face while the others were curious to see what it was like.

“Omg what year is it?” Itaru exclaimed, too repulsed to even laugh (but Tsuzuru caught him browsing the site by himself later on, and snickering over everything that was wrong.)

“It sucks,” Masumi said, even more grossed out than he usually sounded when things weren’t to his liking. Matsukawa got all upset about it, but everyone agreed that something had to be done about the site before they could even think of promoting their play.

Speaking of promotion, Matsukawa's handmade and copied flyers were just as terrible as his website, so they really needed something that could be printed and handed out on the streets that would at least catch people's attention.

At that point Tsuzuru said that he knew someone who did graphic design and could remake the site. He couldn't promise that Miyoshi would have the time to help them out, but he was asked to look into it as soon as possible, so he excused himself to make a call.

“Ah, Miyoshi-san? It’s Minagi. Sorry for the sudden call.”

“Tsuzuroon! It's rare for you to call me! What's up?”

“I've got a favor to ask you, actually. Are you very busy at the moment?”

“At the moment? Not really? Why?”

“The theater company I'm in needs help to make the website and design flyers... none of us are any good at it, so I thought...”

“Aw, sure! I can totes help out with those!”

“Really? That would be awesome, thank you! Let me know when you can come take a look and I'll text the address. Thank you, Miyoshi-san!”

“Aight, no probs! See ya then!”

Tsuzuru told Izumi that Miyoshi was willing to help them, and the day after he came by after class to check out what he'd be working with.

Miyoshi brought yet another type of whirlwind to the company with his extremely cheerful manner and overuse of hip vocabulary that really belonged only online, or so most people would think. But not him.

“Woah this is what it feels like on stage? Wild!”

“Uhm, Miyoshi-san?” Izumi asked.

“Oh, you are? The leading lady? Let's exchange contact info!”

Tsuzuru honestly wanted to sink into the ground. Maybe he made a mistake bringing Miyoshi on board, but his skills were the real deal.

“I'm the director,” Izumi objected, “the question is, can you help us out? Unfortunately we can't compensate for your work at the moment...”

“Nah that's alright! I got time and making you a website and a flyer is no biggie.”

“Thank you,” Izumi said.

“All right, Miyoshi-san, we should get on with practice so, thanks for coming, I owe you one.” But please leave now, Tsuzuru thought.

Seriously, Miyoshi was a really good guy but he was very extravagant and loud and kind of physically too close, especially with Masumi glaring daggers at him when he stood so close to Izumi.

“Okay then, I'll whip something up soon! Laters!”

And with that, Miyoshi left, and Tsuzuru sighed in relief.

“Is he really okay?” Itaru asked.

“Don't worry, despite all that, his designs are actually good.”

“Hmm...”

Itaru didn't seem to buy it just yet, but they'd have to just wait until Miyoshi showed them what he came up with. Even if he didn't yet grasp the style that would fit Mankai best, it was going to be a thousand times better than Matsukawa's 90s style web page and his hand-drawn flyers.

\--

Sakuya's plan of solidarity with Citron somehow ended up in Tsuzuru helping them out with making healthy desserts or snacks. They made sugar free oat cookies one day, and fruit salad the next day. Izumi watched over them with a soft smile as she worked on their schedule and her director's notes.

At some point Masumi showed up, and while he usually didn't mingle much, he stayed, and didn't exactly help out as much as he kept glancing at Izumi. But Tsuzuru thought it was better than being holed up in their room.

Now there was as always one more person, who, when evening practice was done, disappeared into his room and only left it for a visit to the fridge or the shower before going to bed.

Once the fruit salad was done, Tsuzuru messaged Itaru in an attempt to get him out of his room, but he only got a brief 'I'll have some later' back, so he sighed, and everyone ate a bowl in the lounge while watching TV together.

Itaru didn't show up, so Tsuzuru took it upon himself to deliver his portion. He was well aware that he pretended to be upset about Itaru not coming out of his room – he was half upset about it – but he secretly enjoyed visiting Itaru.

He had the feeling that if he saw Itaru in private, in his ultimate downtime, he'd get to know him better than when he was still holding back for their sake. And so he made his way up the stairs, carrying a bowl of fruit salad and a fork on a tray.

This time, however, the door was locked. Tsuzuru knocked on it quite loudly.

“Itaru-san? I brought you some fruit salad!”

For a while there was no answer, and unlike usually Tsuzuru didn't hear much from inside. Maybe he wasn't gaming on his computer this time? Right when Tsuzuru was about to knock on the door again, the lock clicked and Itaru opened the door.

“Oh it's my mom,” Itaru said with a grin.

Tsuzuru decided to ignore that. “Better appreciate that I'm bringing it to you.”

Itaru looked from Tsuzuru's face to the tray and back. Instead of taking the tray and disappearing back into his room, he stepped back and opened the door for Tsuzuru to enter.

“In fact, I do,” Itaru said. “You came at a good time.”

Tsuzuru tilted his head. Did he mean, because he was hungry just now, or was there something else. He accepted the unspoken invitation, and entered the room. Itaru took the tray from him, and settled on his couch.

“Uhm, so...”

Itaru picked a piece of fruit from the bowl, and put it in his mouth, then patted the spot on the couch next to him.

Tsuzuru was confused, and it made him a little nervous. His mouth was dry, too, but he went and sat down next to the older man, who was slowly eating the fruit.

“I've got a favor to ask of you,” Itaru said once Tsuzuru sat down.

Okay, so there was something else. But what kind of thing could Itaru possibly need from him?

“W-what is it?” Tsuzuru asked, carefully glancing at Itaru's profile. It was pretty dark in the room, most of the light actually came from the TV, which was on the save screen of another game Tsuzuru definitely couldn't place.

“My team needs a second healer to beat this level, and I think you're perfect for the job,” Itaru said in one go, with full confidence.

“Wait,” Tsuzuru said, realising this was game talk, “I don't really play games...”

Itaru turned to him and smirked. “That's ok. I can help you level up real fast and I've got a bunch of items you can use.”

“But, can't you just find someone else? There's bound to be-”

Itaru suddenly swung his fork with a piece of apple on it towards Tsuzuru, nearly bumping his nose with it.

“I'm very picky on my healers. They need to be diligent and have good timing. Plus they have to stay in the back. It's really hard to find people who focus on magic and healing, because it disables high-level solo runs, but it's so damn important in co-op missions, so- you're the man.”

He put the apple in his mouth and chewed.

Tsuzuru let out a long sigh. “I don't know, Itaru-san... I don't think I have time for that.”

“No worries,” Itaru answered swiftly. “I'll do most of the work, but let's start right now.”

He leaned forward and pressed some buttons on the controller that was lying on the table, opened an online game, and started the 'new character creation' process, then handed the controller to Tsuzuru.

“You can design your character here, pick 'healer' for class, with 'magic' as your strength, and 'power' as your weak point. Otherwise anything goes.”

Tsuzuru reluctantly took the controller, and looked at the screen. He hadn't played games since, since when, actually? He fumbled with the controls, and was kind of afraid Itaru would go nuts about it, but the man was just calmly observing and eating.

Having him watch still made him kind of nervous, but he just tried to breathe and relax. He was just picking a character here...

“Uh...” Human race should do. Healer class, as Itaru said, and then the appearance of his character. He picked a sleek, half-long blond haircut, dark blue eyes, and a gentle-looking face. He was a healer, after all. The healer class character wore some kind of light-blue and white robe and carried a staff. That was about it, then, right?

“Is this okay?” he asked Itaru.

The man nodded. “Sure, it's your avatar. He's cute, seems trustworthy.”

Tsuzuru felt stupid for the fact that it made him blush a little. Good thing it was dark, so Itaru wouldn't notice. The next step in his character creation was inputting his details.

<name>

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

What kind of name would be good... He's a healer... Japanese name? Western name? Related to his own name? Ugh, he wasn't making a character because he wanted to play the game...

<name>

Tsuzuru _ _ _ _ _

“Might as well,” he mumbled, as he hit the 'confirm' button.

“Awesome,” Itaru said, still munching fruit.

Tsuzuru knew he said that because his party just gained a healer, not because Tsuzuru had made a game character. Either way, Itaru was smiling in a way that he rarely did. A content, relaxed smile. In the light of the TV, his pale skin almost seemed to reflect the light.

“Go on,” Itaru said, “Continue to the tutorial. It'll teach you the basic game play, you will be needing that.”

“Oh... okay...” Tsuzuru turned his head back to the screen, and selected the 'continue to tutorial' button.

So far so good, as the tutorial did explain the game mechanics, and how to equip weapons and use items. It didn't seem as hard as he'd thought, but he vaguely knew that this was just the basics.

Halfway through, Itaru had finished his bowl of fruit and was now paying more attention to Tsuzuru's run of the tutorial. When Tsuzuru cleared his first battle level (it was a simulation that imitated teamplay), Itaru clapped his hands and totally startled Tsuzuru.

“All right, I knew you'd play like that.”

Itaru seemed satisfied, but Tsuzuru was just confused. He what now? What did he do? It seemed it was good.

“W-what do you mean?” he asked, backing down into the couch, looking at Itaru.

“You healed the right characters at the right time and didn't rush in.” Itaru sounded happy.

“Oh. Okay.”

“That was perfect. You're gonna do great in my team.”

Tsuzuru felt heat rise in his cheeks. He wasn't very good at accepting compliments, especially not about something that he had no idea of. Besides that, it was not okay how perfectly charming Itaru's wide smile was. It wasn't his business smile, either, not the one that sold the contracts, but the one that came out when the contract had just been signed. Tsuzuru had a creeping feeling that he got himself into something pretty troublesome.

“Uh, thanks, I guess.”

“Now, you need to get to level 5 by yourself with game-generated teams, but after that I'll take over and get you to a decent level. And then I'll explain more about the more difficult battles.”

Itaru was way too into this, Tsuzuru thought, but he started now, so he might as well finish. What surprised Tsuzuru most of all was how kind and patient Itaru was while watching him play. He totally believed Itaru was going to get all cranky when he took too long to decide what to do, or click his tongue if he did something wrong.

Maybe he wasn't so bad...or maybe it was just because he wanted to keep the peace with his newfound/made healer instead of scaring him off.

But no, Itaru was watching Tsuzuru, and sometimes gave him tips, and hummed in approval when he did something good. It was actually nice.

At some point, when Tsuzuru was feeling uncertain, he glanced aside to Itaru, about to ask him for help, but noticed that Itaru had his eyes closed and was breathing softly with his mouth a little open. Tsuzuru blinked and decided to let him be.

He got through the level on his own, and then felt a bump against him. Apparently Itaru had been slowly slipping sideways until he landed against Tsuzuru's shoulder. The bump hadn't woken him up, either.

Tsuzuru sighed, and with some effort put the game controller on the table. He considered waking Itaru up, but he just couldn't. He seemed so peacefully asleep... Itaru's fringe tickled Tsuzuru's cheek, though, and after a while Tsuzuru started to feel the weight of Itaru leaning against him.

“Itaru-san,” he said, softly.

“Itaru-san, go sleep in your bed.”

The man stirred and opened his eyes. With a little annoyed groan he pushed himself back upright on the couch.

“Oh...Tsuzuru...” He sounded a bit dazed. “I slept, huh? Sorry about that...”

Tsuzuru shook his head. “No, it's all right...”  
  
Itaru turned back to the screen. Tsuzuru had just reached level five as well, as instructed. Itaru seemed pleased, at least.

“Congrats. Stats are looking fine, oh and you scored some gold coins. Nice. I can work with that.”

Tsuzuru laughed. “That's cool and all but please, don't do it tonight.”

Itaru saved and closed the game, pulled his hair tie out and shook his head. His fringe was still all over the place when he looked back at Tsuzuru with a soft smile.

“I think I won't. And you should go to sleep too.” It did indeed become past midnight, and they still had morning practice at six.

“Yeah...I will.”

Tsuzuru tried to smile but he might have just had a stupid grin on his face instead as he got up. Itaru shut down the TV and also got up.

“Goodnight, Itaru-san,” Tsuzuru said before leaving the room.

“Otsu~” Itaru replied.

Outside, Tsuzuru let a long sigh escape. Why did he let himself get roped into a game of some sort. But at least it didn't seem he'd have to do a lot for it, so he hoped it would be a one-time thing.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda like this chapter! I hope you do too~


	5. Chapter 5

Very soon after, the Mankai Company official site had been professionally revamped by Kazunari Miyoshi and much to Tsuzuru's relief everyone finally trusted his judgement. 

Unknown to the rest, Tsuzuru had promised Miyoshi that he'd pay for coffee some time and tell him more about the theater, so Miyoshi could help promote them as well. It was a compromise, of sorts, but still not an entirely fair one, although all the work Miyoshi did would end up on his portfolio.

As rehearsals continued, Yuzo came by again and suggested adding a stage fight at the end to raise the stakes and add some impact to the climax. While Tsuzuru was happy that the lack of impact wasn't script-related, he still thought that adding the scene meant some of the lines needed different timing, so he fixed that while studying the fight scene that Yuzo designed for Romeo and Julius.

Execution was the biggest problem though... Seeing it on stage was one thing. Actors made it look simple, but it most definitely wasn't. You had to nail your movements perfectly, and be in sync with your opponent. Timing had to be perfect, as well. Otherwise it would be much harder for the sound master to sync sound effects. 

If you'd ever seen badly synchronized fight scenes with pre-recorded audio you'd know how amateuristic it looks, and that's what they needed to avoid if they wanted to revive the theater. No matter how new they all were at this, they had to push through and make this work the best way they could.

With the opening night drawing closer, and everyone feeling the pressure, there were times when rehearsals were tough, especially for Sakuya because he had a hard time getting his sword fighting down. Yuzo wasn't always there to teach him, so it was up to Izumi and Masumi to help him out.

Tsuzuru and Itaru were watching, both of them obviously concerned. Citron too seemed to be at a loss for words at this point. There wasn't much they could do to help, and it made them equally restless. To distract themselves, they sat in a corner and rehearsed their own lines.

At least one afternoon, Matsukawa and Yuki brought in the costumes. This brought some cheer and good news, as Yuki put some tools down and demanded that they get changed, stat. Masumi and Sakuya were already home from school, but Itaru wasn't back yet.

The main actors got changed first so Yuki could check for adjustments to the costumes, but they really were as good as finished and the fit was close to perfect. Even Tsuzuru who didn't know a thing about sewing could tell that this was really well made and he was genuinely impressed by the quality of Yuki’s work.

“Oh, Sakuya and Masumi look like princes,” Citron commented. “Very distinct!”

“Distinct?” Tsuzuru repeated, confused. “You mean eh, distinguished? Why do you try to use such difficult words anyway?”

“I want to become better at Japanese, naturally,” Citron replied happily. Tsuzuru sighed. He'd better get his own costume on before Yuki chewed him out for being slow. 

He pulled his hoodie over his head and put it over the backrest of a chair, took off his shoes and pulled his training pants down. Of course that was the exact moment that Itaru decided to appear in the door opening.

“Woah, are we stripping now, Tsuzuru?”

The college student couldn't help but get a little embarrassed as he put his own pants away and quickly got into the ones for his costume.

“Great timing, Itaru-san,” he mumbled, his cheeks a little red.

Why, though. They lived in the same building and had shared bathrooms. They were going to be changing in and out of costume on a daily basis soon enough. Better get over this, and quick, he thought.

“Itaru, you must also try out your costume!” Citron hopped over to him, pushing the clothes hanger with Tybalt's outfit into Itaru's hands.

“Sheesh. I just got back from work, you know? I’d have liked to shower first... But since the director told me to come here, I guess I have no choice.”

“It's true, you don't,” Yuki said from across the room, checking Masumi's outfit. “Get changed, swindler.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.”

Tsuzuru fumbled a bit with his top layers, but eventually got it on. Because of the details on the front, Yuki made them with a zipper on the back, but it required some arm-stretching to close the zipper by himself. 

He felt the slightest hint of embarrassment, he hadn’t done any dressing up since… since when? The fit was really nice, though. He bent his knees and stretched his arms above his head. The costume fit him perfectly and looked amazing. He grinned at himself in the mirror. Kind of handsome, even?

He briefly looked over at Itaru, who was holding up his own costume top and looked a bit confused. Yuki was busy with Citron's outfit now, so Tsuzuru went up to him and offered to help put it on.

“Thanks,” Itaru said. After Tsuzuru zipped him up, they both looked at their reflections, and their eyes met for a moment. 

“Seems to fit well,” Tsuzuru said, stepping back.

Mercutio's and Tybalt's costumes were less grandiose than the ones for Romeo and Julius, but still had the same flair. The panelling on Mercutio's jacket was perfect. Tybalt's jacket had really nice shoulder details and looked very elegant. The red and blue fabrics used were the same as in the main character's costumes, helping to distinguish between the Montague and Capulet families. Everything was well thought out.

“This is pretty amazing,” Itaru said in awe, and Tsuzuru nodded. 

“Feels like a pro made these.”

“Why thanks,” Yuki said, “now let me have a look, villager C.”

While Yuki checked his costume, Tsuzuru found himself looking in the mirror, both at himself and at Itaru. He noticed that the costume kind of seemed to make them both a little more broad-shouldered than they were. The skinny pants and fitting boots made their legs look longer, too. 

“Stand up straight,” Yuki said and pulled back Tsuzuru's shoulders. 

“Woah!” Tsuzuru obeyed, and let Yuki circle around him. “Move around a bit... can you do what you have to do on stage in this?”

“Er...” He didn't really know what to do, but tried some of the poses he took when acting. Nothing seemed off, and the costume didn't hinder him.

“Ok. You're good,” Yuki said with the smallest smile of approval before moving on to Itaru.

Actually relieved, Tsuzuru sighed and was joined by an excited Sakuya and Citron.

“You look so cool,” Sakuya said.

“Hehe. You and Masumi have the epic outfits though. You look very imposing. But honestly, this is great, it helps so much to bring the characters to life.”

“Yes! I feel so very priest-like,” Citron said in his best humble voice.

“I think the Masumi and Itaru fangirls will be pleased,” Tsuzuru continued, crossing his arms and looking from one Capulet to another. 

Itaru turned around with a smug grin on his face.

“I saw that!” Tsuzuru said, and slipped into his Mercutio voice. “I'm going to destroy you, Tybalt.”

“Oh you can try,” Itaru replied in character, but got slapped on the back by Yuki.

Masumi walked out of the room mumbling about 'does the director like me more like this?', and soon after Izumi entered, followed by a slightly disappointed Masumi.

“Guys, you all look amazing,” she said after looking around at everyone.

“What about me-” Masumi was almost pulling her sleeve.

“You look wonderful, Masumi. You too, Sakuya. Citron looks so solemn, and Tsuzuru and Itaru look so cool. Wow.”

Yuki was done chastising Itaru and looked a little pleased with himself.

“I'm glad you appreciate my work,” he said. “I want as many people as possible to see my costumes, so I'll post about your play on my website.”

“Thank you, Yuki. That would be a great help.” Izumi smiled kindly at the middle school boy.

“Thank you, Yuki!” Sakuya joined in, with a big happy smile on his face. 

“You'd better put up a good performance or all my efforts are in vain,” he replied, snarky as always. But it was clear that Yuki took pride in his work and really wanted it to be seen. It deserved to be seen.

“We'll do our best, right guys?” Sakuya looked at everyone else, and they all nodded.

With this, some cheer and motivation had returned to the members of the spring troupe. They got changed back into their normal clothes and Yuki took the pieces that needed adjusting with him again. 

Itaru sighed, and left to take a shower and change into comfortable clothes. They would have practice after dinner, so until then they were basically free. Tsuzuru offered Izumi to help with dinner – in an attempt to make it not curry, but luckily today was a pasta day.

“I heard about Citron's diet,” Izumi said, grateful for the help. “Would you mind preparing vegetables to add a salad as a side dish?”

Tsuzuru nodded and started gathering the vegetables and put a cutting board on the table. During the preparations, they talked about this and that, and eventually came back to the topic of the theatre that Izumi's father, Yukio Tachibana, had left behind.

“I really have no clue what happened,” Izumi said. She wasn't as much sad about it, as that she just wanted to know why her father disappeared, or what happened. She was still young at the time.

“Mom was really bitter about it, she has given up on him for a while now, but I just can't let it go… I want to believe that he’s out there somewhere, and depending on what story he tells me I may or may not have to punch him.”

“Hmm, it is really mysterious… Matsukawa also said he just up and disappeared,” Tsuzuru replied. “But hopefully if we revive the Mankai theater, your dad will hear of it and feel the wish to come back. And maybe he will get punched.”

Izumi laughed. “Yeah...I’m really hoping that he didn’t leave everything for no reason.”

“Well...” Tsuzuru said, weighing his words, “that's a problem to face when it occurs, but at least you’ll give him a chance.”

Izumi put a lid on the pot in which the pasta was boiling and turned to Tsuzuru.

“You know, I hope when the time comes, if it comes, you'll be here with me,” she said. 

“Ehh?” Tsuzuru felt that he started to blush. 

“Oh, I meant, all of you... but you have a soothing presence, Tsuzuru.”

Tsuzuru relaxed again. “I'm just used to dealing with a lot,” he replied with an apologetic smile. 

He wasn't sure if what he had was a soothing presence, or a desire to keep things from escalating. And in a large household, that meant self-sacrifice. Without it, a family with ten children would be pure chaos. Tsuzuru counted himself lucky that Kaoru, the fourth brother, was taking over so many of his tasks so he could move out and go study. 

Izumi laughed a little. “I'm really grateful to you, honestly.”

“Thank you...but it's Sakuya who remembered me in the first place. If he hadn’t come after me, I might have found some other place. I believe he's the reason we're all here, ah well, except Masumi.”

“Masumi is a little unique huh… But that's true...without Sakuya here, Sakyo would've just kicked Matsukawa out and the Mankai theater would be no more. I wouldn’t have had a reason to try to protect it, either.”

Izumi laughed. She just happened to take on the role as director, but it was growing on her. The boys were growing on her, too. 

“I really hope we can make Romeo & Julius a success,” she said, checking on the pasta.

“Me too,” Tsuzuru replied. 

They finished the preparations for dinner, and Tsuzuru went upstairs to call everyone. Dinner was always a good time for everyone to talk about themselves, and it was usually a good time. 

This time too they had an animated conversation about the stage costumes. Everyone was super excited to wear the outfits on stage, even Masumi smiled, although that was probably because he was happy to get more compliments from Izumi.

After dinner, Itaru helped clean the table, and checked the fridge before heading to his room.

“Isn't it early for snacks?” Tsuzuru asked him with a hint of judgement in his voice.

“Hmm... it is but I've gotta be careful.”

“Huh? You mean, about what you eat? I thought you didn’t care at all.” Tsuzuru noticed the pained expression Itaru made. 

“Yeah, it's that Yuki kid.”

“What, why?”

“I told him that my outfit's a bit tight on my waist, and he told me to lose weight. I don't wanna anger that little demon and turn him into a  _ last boss _ .”

Tsuzuru couldn't help but start laughing out loud. “No kidding.”

“I think we have yoghurt and fruit,” he continued, joining Itaru to check if he was right.

“Yoghurt...” Itaru scrunched up his nose, but seemed to settle for it anyway. “I'll come get some later then.”

Tsuzuru watched him go and couldn't shake off the feeling that Itaru was trying way harder than he wanted to admit. It made him smile to himself. He made some coffee and headed to his room to study.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For real, as a non-active but hand-made cosplayer, looking at the outfits in detail makes me go OOF.  
> Respect Yuki or else---
> 
> I am currently writing ch 8 and I've started to question everything about this fic *sweats  
> I hope it's not going to slow, even for slow burn hhh I have no confidence.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enter Tsuzuru's gay panic~

With the dress rehearsal coming very close now, everyone was a little on edge. Mainly the director, who was stressing about getting everything done, and Sakuya and Masumi who were still practicing the final fight scene that Yuzo suggested they should add. 

In order to lift as much pressure from their shoulders, Itaru and Citron were in charge of dinner, while Tsuzuru and Matsukawa were helping out to set up the stage props with Tetsuro, the carpenter. Tsuzuru knew where the pieces needed to be, and he helped carry the parts in and assisted Tetsuro while he put everything together. 

Matsukawa acted mainly as interpreter for Tetsuro, because no matter how hard he tried, Tsuzuru could not make out if Tetsuro was even talking or not. Once again, he was glad he'd done so many part time jobs, because both carrying heavy stuff, and doing some simple carpentry were things he'd done before.

Still, it was hard work and they could not finish setting up everything in one evening, and the set pieces had to be safe. Tsuzuru and Tetsuro had a checklist to go over and mark which pieces were set in place and secured, and if movable pieces were actually easy to move around. 

So many things needed to be done that Tsuzuru hadn't thought of at first, but he had a lot of fun learning about all this, too, and hoped that it would be useful in the future. 

It turned out to be an especially long day, because even after Tetsuro had left, Tsuzuru had to finish up some school work for the next day. Sighing deeply, he returned to his room. Masumi was just about to go to bed, so Tsuzuru decided to get his things and laptop and work in the lounge instead. He made himself a cup of coffee and started working. If anyone had told him he was crazy for doing all this, he would have agreed. 

Izumi came into the kitchen to get a glass of water before heading to bed. She gave him a concerned look but could not judge him for having to work so hard.

“Good night, Tsuzuru. Don't overdo it, okay?” 

“I shouldn't be too long… Good night,” he replied, hiding the truth. He actually had no idea how long this might still take him. It was almost midnight, too...

It wasn't anything that was going to be graded, but not doing the preparation for the class was just going to make it harder to keep up and take notes, and Tsuzuru would rather make sure that he didn't have to catch up after class, or do extra work later on. 

He rubbed his eyes. Just a little bit more, at least finish reading the essay and take out the key words. He yawned, but kept working until he finally decided he'd done enough preparation. He saved his file, closed his laptop and took all his stuff upstairs again.

He tried to be quiet, luckily Masumi was sound asleep and usually didn't wake up easily. Tsuzuru decided to shower before bed, so he grabbed a towel and his bed-t-shirt and went to the shared dorm bathroom.

Through the frosted glass, he saw that the light inside was on. Did someone forget to turn it off? It was way past midnight now, he surely didn't expect anyone to be in there at this time.

He opened the door, stepping into the changing room. There was stuff in one of the baskets. Tsuzuru put his own clothes in the basket next to it, and saw a familiar yellow-gold jacket. Itaru?

He had no right to judge, but why was Itaru out showering this late? Games, probably. The usual. Tsuzuru stripped and opened the door to the showers and bath.

“Coming in,” he said, and closed the door behind him. 

“Otsu~” Itaru replied from the bath. 

Tsuzuru had a creeping feeling that Itaru was looking at him, and it made him nervous. Why, though, it wasn't the first time they'd happened to shower at the same time.

“You're in here late,” Tsuzuru said, as he took a little shower stool.

“Mh,” Itaru replied, “was grinding for your healer.” 

Tsuzuru glanced at Itaru, who was hanging in the water, his cheeks red from the heat, his damp hair flat and a bit messy. He had a lazy relaxed expression on his face that Tsuzuru hadn't seen often before.

“Really? That could wait, can't it? We're almost starting our stage run.”

Tsuzuru shook his head and sprayed himself wet, then pumped some shampoo on his hands and started massaging his hair. He wanted to be mad at Itaru, but again, he didn't have the right.

Itaru also didn't reply to that, but Tsuzuru could hear the water slosh, which told him that Itaru had moved around in the bath.

“How about you,” Itaru said, after Tsuzuru had rinsed his hair. 

For some reason, Tsuzuru still felt Itaru's eyes on him. Was he really looking? Probably not. Who'd do that...

“Class preparation for tomorrow,” he answered. He then looked over his shoulder to check, and he wasn't wrong. Itaru  _ was _ staring at him with that lazy look. Oh well, whatever. Tsuzuru washed his body, possibly blushing a little, and rinsed off.

Right when he put the showerhead back in its holder on the wall, Tsuzuru heard the water hit the borders of the bath by the waves Itaru made when he got up to get out.

“Mmh, that was a nice soak,” he mumbled, stepping out into the cooler air.

“Oh...” Itaru reached for his forehead, and staggered. “Oh  _ crap _ .”

Tsuzuru reacted immediately as Itaru seemed to realize that he was about to get dizzy and possibly faint.

Tsuzuru slipped one arm around Itaru's back and helped him to sit down on the bathroom floor. He looked at Itaru, but Itaru was staring at the floor, trying to take deep breaths.

“You good?” Tsuzuru asked carefully, sitting next to him, still holding him.

“Yeah, sorry. Thanks.”

They stayed like that for a while, until Itaru had cooled down, and only when Tsuzuru was done worrying over him, did he get flustered about the whole thing. 

Itaru slowly got back up, Tsuzuru still ready to steady him if needed, but he seemed fine. He glanced at Itaru, once again registering his slim build and fair skin. He really was a beautiful man. It was almost unfair.

“Uhm, does that happen a lot?” Tsuzuru asked, still a little concerned.

Itaru sprayed himself with some lukewarm water. “Hmm, sometimes, yeah.”

He turned the water off, and looked back at Tsuzuru, a mysterious smile on his lips. “It's no big deal. It's not like I faint, I just get dizzy.”

“Okay, but still. Please be careful.”

“I will.” Itaru ran a hand through his damp hair, sighed and went back to the changing room. Tsuzuru wasn't going to take a bath this time, so he followed and turned off the light as he left.

They were both drying themselves off in silence for a bit, until Itaru suddenly spoke.

“Mercutio's outfit looks really good on you by the way.” 

Tsuzuru stopped moving instantly and turned to Itaru in confusion.“Where did that suddenly come from?” 

“Nothing...I just noticed how broad your shoulders are,” Itaru replied casually, glancing at Tsuzuru from under his damp bangs.

Tsuzuru hoped that if he was blushing, it could be attributed to his hot shower.

“The outfit just displays it nicely,” he continued, while he dried his legs.

Tsuzuru could feel his heart start beating a bit faster, and he had no idea what to say in reply to that. He finally continued drying off, and didn't dare to look back at Itaru.

“What's wrong, Tsuzuru? Cat got your tongue?” Itaru put his towel aside and slipped into his underwear, grinning a little.

“Ah- no...I just didn't expect you to... but thank you.” Tsuzuru nodded, feeling a bit lightheaded. He wasn't being himself, and Itaru would definitely notice him behaving weirdly.

He scraped his throat and started to get dressed again. By now, Itaru had put on his own sleeping clothes – loose shorts and an oversized shirt – and he turned around to where the mirrors and sinks were. He picked up the hairdryer and started to dry his hair.

A minute later, Tsuzuru joined him, the noise of the hairdryers preventing any further conversation. Once, though, their eyes met through their reflections, and Tsuzuru smiled back at Itaru's little grin. What was that grin for, though? 

Once they were both done, they left the bathroom together, with Itaru happily telling Tsuzuru that the healer character he'd made was already at level 30 and got up-classed to mage-healer. It had something to do with faster recuperation of MP, or something that kind of went over Tsuzuru's head.

Either way, Itaru seemed satisfied with it, and that was all Tsuzuru needed to know.

Despite being both physically and mentally exhausted, Tsuzuru couldn't fall asleep. He couldn't get Itaru out of his mind, to the point where his brain kept going over the same cycle, Itaru's slender figure, his smile, him saying those things about the costume and his shoulders... 

Is this the kind of disbelief that you feel when someone much better than you compliments you? They way that it makes you happy but also feels like mockery because you can't imagine them being sincere? 

But no, Tsuzuru didn't want to think about Itaru that way. But then, in what way did he want to think about him... He was already way too aware of how beautiful Itaru was, and that was unusual. He didn't deny the existence of handsome men, but he wasn't  _ into _ men... 

No, no he wasn't.  _ But Itaru... _

No. Go to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this one~ we're getting somewhere, slowly~


	7. Chapter 7

Finally they made it to the dress rehearsal. They had been selling tickets bit by bit, but closing night wasn't sold out yet, and every performance still had tickets available. That’s why, in hopes of getting their name out there more, Izumi had invited some press and people involved in theater to come watch.

Everyone was really nervous, Matsukawa most of all, for some reason, and Izumi did her best to stay calm as she talked to the spring troupe, all dressed and ready to step on the stage. Her attempt at encouraging them was brave, but it seemed to have a reversed effect on herself.

“I can do it. For you.” Masumi declared with bravado.

“Y-yeah, we rehearsed so much! We can do it. Just like at practice.” Sakuya stood up, and Masumi followed suit.

“I am going to break a leg,” Citron said, causing Tsuzuru to retort with a swift 'that's not how it works!'.

Itaru stood up too. “Let's show them, then,” he said, somewhat more enthusiastic than expected.

Izumi smiled at them. “I'm so nervous, but this is your stage. I believe in you guys. It's five minutes to curtain, so go to your positions. I'll be watching from the side.”

“Okay!”

They all nodded with determination, and exited the dressing room. Tsuzuru was still nervous, and he had a feeling that it wouldn't just go away even as they would continue. However it wasn't a bad thing. Despite the nerves, he was focused, following what was happening on stage and keeping track of his own lines.

When it was his turn to appear, he took a deep breath and stepped into the light. He could almost feel the audience's eyes on him, and he remembered to do his best to stand tall and look cool.

As he said his lines, he started to feel more confident, too. He knew that he could do it. He locked eyes with Sakuya as Romeo and flashed a grin at him.

Sakuya was doing well too. There was still some hesitation in his words and movements, but experience would help to get rid of that. Masumi finally had his character's emotions down, and his expressions were on point. He was definitely going to score points with the audience.

The other one to score points was Itaru. He was a natural heart-throb and looked absolutely stunning as Tybalt. But this time Tsuzuru was too focused on his role to be impressed. Mercutio and Tybalt faced off in front of Romeo and Julius, fighting for their beliefs and their clans.

Their practice showed, and the sword fight was performed without mistakes. Mercutio went down wounded, and Romeo in turn defeated Tybalt. During a change of scene, Tsuzuru and Itaru left the stage together, and backstage they looked at each other with a sense of accomplishment and gave each other a pat on the back, nervous smiles on their lips.

The play finished without any big mishaps, and they went out for the curtain call. Some of the press representatives took pictures of them, so they stayed on stage for a bit longer than usual.

Izumi got asked some questions about the troupe and the play as well, and in general they had a good feeling about the dress rehearsal. Tsuzuru was tired, but too excited to be bothered by it, as he looked out over the theater seating area. It was by no means full, and the applause had been small and polite, but it was such a big step for them.

Sakuya was smiling widely, Masumi was gazing at Izumi, Citron was grinning, and Itaru had his business smile on. Izumi then looked over at them, and called out to Tsuzuru.

“Tsuzuru, can we have a moment?”

He nodded and went down the steps to the seating area. Apparently a reviewer wanted to ask about his inspiration for the script, after learning that the script had been written by one of the actors.

Tsuzuru explained that he'd been inspired by a play by the original Mankai Company's spring troupe, and that he had a personal experience with a friendship that couldn't last because of family differences, which made him rewrite it into a story about friendship instead of a romance.

The reviewer nodded as she made a short note about his answers, and thanked him for his time. Tsuzuru thanked her for coming, and went back to the others.

When the photographers signaled that they were done, the spring troupe left the stage and they walked into the dressing room in silence, but once inside they burst out in laughter.

“We did it!” Sakuya and Tsuzuru yelled.

“I hope the director praises me,” Masumi said, his hopes high.

“I think we levelled up.”

“Ohh did we get a new item?” Citron put an arm around Itaru’s shoulder, joining in the gamer talk.

“Sure did. I got a sword.”

“Sakuya, Masumi, you did great!” Tsuzuru complimented the leads.

“You and Itaru-san too! You were so cool!”

“I'm going to see the director.”    
But Citron pulled his arm before Masumi could actually leave.

“Masumi. The director is beesy.”

“I'm so sweaty...” Itaru pulled on his outer jacket.

“We're going to have to wash these costumes after every performance...That’s troublesome...”

“Haha, yeah,” Sakuya replied, fanning himself.

“Anyway...,” Tsuzuru said, and helped Sakuya out of his cape and upper layers, “if you get out of your costume, put it away on the hangers.”

“Oh, right. Yuki did warn us to treat them well,” Itaru remembered, making an unpleasant face.

No one wanted to invoke the wrath of their costume designer, so they all hung their costumes back on the clothing rack as they had been before the performance. Right when Masumi was again about to go look for Izumi, the director came back to the dressing room, absolutely beaming.

“You guys did great! I want you to rest up tonight, and we'll have a meeting tomorrow morning about some things that can be improved.” She sighed out of relief. “I'm so proud of all of you... Sakuya, Masumi, you were in sync and carried your characters really well. Your practice really paid off. Tsuzuru and Itaru, you really expressed the rivalry, and the fight scene was so intense. Citron, you made no mistakes and were really easy to understand. You've got natural stage presence!”

The boys all grinned back, tired but satisfied. After Izumi left, they changed into their training gear and headed out to the dorms to get a shower. It didn't happen often, or rather, never, that everyone went at the same time, but now there was no one who didn't want to rinse off the sweat as soon as possible.

They didn't talk all that much while showering, except Sakuya, who could just not contain his excitement. But to Tsuzuru, it was enough to watch him be so in his element, and have Citron respond to him and compliment him, and make it somehow  _ worse _ . But he could swear that he saw even Masumi smile. It could have been that he was just thinking of the director, but Tsuzuru liked to believe the stoic boy was just as happy as the rest.

Another cheerful character was Itaru. He was humming under the shower, a mild smile on his lips.

“What are you staring for, Tsuzuru?” the man suddenly asked.

Oh crap, he  _ noticed _ .

“Nothing... you just seem so happy.”

“Oh, yeah. I'm looking forward to tonight.”

“You mean sleep, right?”

“Oh Tsuzuru, you are so cute. It's game night, duh. No work tomorrow, no morning practice... I'm taking your little healer out on a quest.”

Tsuzuru made a questioning face. “We're supposed to rest.”

“Don't worry, it won't get too late and I'll have a proper night's sleep.”

“Well, I can't tell you what to do,” Tsuzuru said, although he didn't agree with Itaru's plans. The other man didn't reply anymore and continued to hum as he left the bathroom after showering.

Tsuzuru decided to have a soak in the bath to relax his muscles and his mind a little. It didn't happen often that Masumi took a bath, but this time he was soaking in it as well, his cheeks red. Sakuya and Citron were there too, chatting in a lively manner.

Tsuzuru was good just listening to them, and for once Masumi didn't complain about how noisy they were. At some point, though, Masumi glanced at Tsuzuru, as if he was considering saying something. Tsuzuru smiled at him, hoping to encourage him to talk, if there was something he wanted to talk. Unfortunately, he didn't say anything, and soon after got out of the bath and left.

While sitting in the hot water, Tsuzuru's mind drifted back to the dress rehearsal. He admitted that standing on stage had been fun, and it felt good to step off the stage, knowing you had played your role well, and had given the audience a good time. Even their polite applause tonight had sounded awesome.

Once again, he regretted not having made an effort to get into acting before, but he no longer blamed his family matters for it. He should have tried harder, that is all. But he was truly grateful for his family to finally push him to do what he really wanted to do, and he found a place where he could not only act, but even write scripts. It may have been the best thing that ever happened to him, all because of a chance encounter with Sakuya.

Lost in thought, he barely registered that Citron and Sakuya were leaving together and wished him good night.He looked up, a little dazed before it got through to him. “Oh, yeah! Good night, you two.”

He shouldn't stay in there too long anymore either, but the hot water was comfortable. He soaked for five more minutes, and then got out as well. He dried, got into his nightwear, and went back to his room. Masumi seemed to be awake, reading on his bed.

Tsuzuru climbed into his own bed, as he was ready for a good, long rest.

“Hey, Tsuzuru?” It happened rarely that Masumi talked to him, but maybe that thing that he'd been thinking about in the bath was bothering him after all.

“Yeah, what's up?”

“Did I do well today?”

Huh? That was usually what he asked the director, almost at every practice they did.

“I think you did. But I wasn't watching the play from the audience's seats so... Why are you asking me? You usually don't care what anyone besides the director thinks.”

Masumi went quiet for a bit. “Because you wrote it. You said you wrote all the roles with us in mind.”

“I see...” Tsuzuru replied, thinking. “I did, and I made Julius the smart character because, well. You have that cool image that fits a guy who's generally calmer and thinks about things compared to Romeo, who's a little impulsive. So yeah, I think you did great.”

“Okay. If you liked it, the director probably did too...that's good.”

“O...kay.” Tsuzuru was confused. Was that how it worked in Masumi's mind now? “I'm pretty sure she did, and besides we're having a meeting tomorrow. You'll find out.”

“Yeah...I need to know that she likes me,” Masumi mumbled, and Tsuzuru could hear him move in his bed.

Weird kid, he thought. A few minutes later, he could hear Masumi's soft, sleeping breathing. Tsuzuru turned around, trying not to think too much about things, but since he was beat, he managed to fall asleep soon as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sadly quarantine has ended yet work is still saving on staff so I'm getting annoying shifts and have much less time to write QAQ
> 
> Don't worry, this fic will continue though, just slower. ^^;;


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ay this one is a little long~ I thought of splitting it but then I went nah.

The next morning, they gathered in the practice room at 10 in the morning. Everyone had been able to get a decent night's sleep, even Itaru, apparently. He was even dressed up in a pair of grey slacks, a dusty pink shirt and grey blazer.

“Are you going out later?” Izumi asked him, saying out loud what everyone else was probably thinking.

“Ah, yeah. I got talked into going for flower viewing with some colleagues, and I could not refuse, I've been skipping out on work outings for months now. But,” he added with his generous businessman smile, “I sold some more tickets to our show as leverage.”

“I see.” She nodded. “Well, I trust you'll be ready for tomorrow's opening night.” Izumi might not have been happy, but it was still their day off, they were allowed to relax and empty their minds, but she still showed some concern in the way she spoke.

“Don't worry, I won't go nuts.”

Izumi nodded again, and looked around at everyone, as they sat down on the floor.

“Yesterday's dress rehearsal went well. I'm really glad you all pulled through, and put up a really good performance. I know that the press will be writing it as 'a decent performance for amateurs', but that's not a bad thing. We  _ are _ all still new at this, I've never directed before, and we had less time than other companies and troupes have to prepare their performances.”

She took a break to breathe, and let her words sink in.

Tsuzuru inhaled deeply, taking in that they had indeed accomplished something unusual.

“What we ultimately want to do, is put up a performance that touches the hearts of the audience.” Izumi added action to her words by placing her own hand open over her heart.    
  
“It doesn't have to be perfect, it doesn't have to be grand. As long as we tell the story, and make them sympathise with the characters, we have done what we should.”

She faced Tsuzuru directly.

“Tsuzuru. Thank you for writing this script, and for being able to let us use it freely and flexibly. You've done an amazing job, without this script we would have struggled much more to find a fitting play to perform. And thank you for agreeing to act, as well. Your opinions have been invaluable, and I'm sure that your acting experience will only help improve your work further.”

Tsuzuru was grinning and blushing. It had been a long time since someone had complimented his writing so much, and he didn't know how to handle himself when everyone stared at him.  _ Hah, some actor he was, huh? _

“That said...”

Ah, and here comes the bad part, he realized.

“You were a bit too focused on the timing of your lines. Feel free to let the reactions of the audience guide you, too. You will notice this better when there is a larger audience, and this goes for everyone. If you feel that the audience is still processing a previous line, wait a little. If they laugh longer than expected, let them laugh.”

Everyone nodded at this explanation. It made sense, Tsuzuru realized. He was really focused on what he was doing, but had no idea of what was going on around him.   
  
Next, Izumi turned to Sakuya with a smile. 

“Sakuya, without you there would be no spring troupe. Your drive for acting is the most admirable thing I've seen and you made me want to support you. Thank you for giving me something to do my best for, too.”

Tsuzuru thought Sakuya might cry, but he didn't, although he definitely got teary-eyed but his wide grin and eager posture didn’t match.

“Your acting has improved immensely, all because you worked so hard. I want you to keep doing your best, but not to overdo it. Keep yourself in check, on the stage too. If you end up in the wrong position, your co-actors will adjust to you. Don't hurry, be careful. Say your lines naturally, I know you can do it. You're going to keep getting better and better from here on.”

Sakuya nodded, his fists clenched on his hoodie, and his face tense from trying to contain himself. Tsuzuru smiled and reached out to bump his shoulder in support. Sakuya was the reason he was there, too, and he felt just as grateful and supportive as Izumi did.

“Masumi...”

The usual deadpan expression Masumi wore made place for one full of expectation and excitement.

“You were skilled right from the start. It's incredible that you can memorize your lines so quickly, and you've got a natural flair on stage. You even have good sense for fighting scenes, and thanks to your efforts, Sakuya was able to learn his part. I can only hope that you've found a true passion for acting, because you'll surely capture the hearts of the audience from here on.”

“I want to capture your heart alone,” Masumi said stubbornly. Izumi smiled but ignored him further.

“Your weak point is putting yourself in someone else's shoes. You judge your own character too harshly and make them more like yourself. I believe you'll learn how to fix this more easily when you gain experience, and learn how different people express different emotions. Keep watching other actors at work.”

Masumi nodded, still looking happier than usual, but also apprehensive of what he'd been told.

“Citron, thank you for your positive energy, your support, and your effort. Your presence has been so important to all of us. Acting is hard, and you're acting in a language different from your own. That in itself is an accomplishment. You've done so well, I'm sure everyone absolutely loved seeing you on stage. You'll keep learning and keep getting better at Japanese. Next time I'm sure you can tackle a bigger role, and I'm looking forward to it already.”

Citron was beaming. “Oh, director! I will do my inmost best!”

“It's 'utmost',” Tsuzuru corrected, but not as sharply as usual. He couldn't help but agree with Izumi here, too. He was super grateful to have Citron around, and he was determined to make it known to him some time. Although it was perfectly possible that Citron was aware of it, he was after all much more emotionally intelligent than he let on from his happy-go-lucky behaviour.

Lastly, Izumi turned to Itaru.

“Thank you for staying, Itaru. I truly hope that you discovered a reason to stick with us longer, because you've grown so much, and Spring Troupe would not be the same without you. You have the ability to shine on the stage, as I'm certain our audience will notice.”

Itaru was smiling too, but it was hard to read what he was really thinking.

“The only thing you'll need to pay attention to is how you use your voice. You sometimes slip back into a normal voice, and as long as we don't have good stage mics, that'll make it hard for people in the back to understand you. I don't want anyone to miss any of your lines.”

“Got it,” Itaru replied, seemingly taking his critique one hundred percent seriously. It pleased Tsuzuru to see this, as he really very much wanted Itaru to find some sort of passion for theater. He wanted to write more roles for him, make him shine. Make all of them shine.

The five of them had their eyes on Izumi, as she thought about what to say next.

“You've proven that you can do it during rehearsals and yesterday too. Tomorrow is our opening night, and I don't want you to pretend there is no audience, but just settle into your roles, and do your best. I believe in you guys. You're all going to be amazing.”

“Yay!” Citron shouted happily, pumping his fist into the air.

“Thank you, director!”

“Watch me.”

“Thank you!”

“Thank you, everyone.”

They looked at Itaru, who had a strange half-smile on his face.

“I'm sorry I caused you trouble, I'll make up for it on stage.”

Izumi nodded fervently, smiling. “I know you will.”

Tsuzuru looked at the two of them and found that it reminded him of one of those high school drama's where a teacher shows up that changes the lives of the students, and it wasn't such a stretch to see Izumi as theirs.

“Director...” Sakuya stood up, and looked at the others, who then followed him, sensing where he wanted to take this. For a teenager, he was more mentally mature than he let on.

“W-without you we wouldn't be here, either. You got involved almost by accident, but you pushed us to do our best, so, what I mean is... Spring troupe is not just us. You're a part of it, too.”

They could swear Izumi blushed a bit at Sakuya's words. For a moment, she didn't know how to answer, and just looked at the boy and then at the others, who were all smiling encouragingly, except Masumi, who seemed to be about to go ahead and hug her.

“That's really sweet. Thank you,” Izumi said, although it was quite obvious that she hadn't seen that coming and was feeling a bit overwhelmed. But she knew that this was just the start, they still had their disbandment hanging over them like a shadow, since Sakyo's condition included a full house on closing night, and then some.

“Now, for today I want you all to rest, relax, and be ready for tomorrow with clear heads and full of energy.”

Everyone nodded again, which concluded their meeting. Itaru took off to his outing with his coworkers, and the four others all felt a little out of place. They had been so busy with practice during practically every single free minute of their time, that now they were told to relax, they didn't know how to.

More practice was obviously a no-go, which threw off Sakuya the most. Tsuzuru felt the same, the time that lay before him seemed empty. There was nothing he could think of that he wanted to do, even if he always had work for school. He knew well enough he would never be able to concentrate on it.

He sighed and crossed his arms. “There's gotta be something we can do that's not theater related...”

“Oh, Tsuzuru! Are you fixed on acting too?”

“Do you mean, fixated?” Masumi replied coolly.

“I think we all are,” Sakuya said with an apologetic smile.

“It's almost lunchtime,” Izumi said, “do you guys need anything for lunch?”

“Lunch...” Tsuzuru thought out loud. And then it hit him. He'd seen a post from Miyoshi on his instagram feed in which he went for pancakes with a classmate and those looked absolutely delicious.

“How about we make some pancakes?” Tsuzuru suggested, smiling brightly. “We can make them fancy, with whipped cream and fruit and stuff.”

Sakuya's face brightened up, and Citron gave a little shout of excitement. He grabbed Sakuya's hands and started dancing.

“Yay! A pancake party! Hurray!”

Tsuzuru laughed. “You're exaggerating...” But honestly, he was happy enough that they were up for it. If it were only for himself, he wouldn't be making anything fancy at all, but knowing that the others would enjoy it made him want to make something nice.

“All right then. Director, shall we go for groceries?”

Izumi nodded, and Masumi instantly became 60% more animated.

“I'm coming too.” As always, his words were a statement, not a question. But why not, it was good for him to join in on doing chores, because whenever it was something the director wasn't involved with, his lack of motivation was all too obvious.

Citron and Sakuya stayed behind while the three of them headed out to go to the supermarket. Tsuzuru had a decent idea of what they would need. Meanwhile Izumi went off getting things from her own shopping list – ingredients for yet another type of curry, probably – and Masumi faithfully carried her shopping basket.

Once Tsuzuru had everything he needed for pancakes, including maple syrup, whipped cream and several types of fruit, he waited for the other two near the cash registers. It was still a mystery to him where the funds came from for Izumi and Matsukawa to be providing them with room and board. Tsuzuru hated to think that most of the money spent might be Izumi's, but he couldn't afford to pitch in either.

On the way back, Masumi dutifully carried all of Izumi's stuff, but it was more than expected, and he was clearly struggling with it. Izumi had already said that she could carry a bag as well, but Masumi wouldn't hear it.

Tsuzuru gave Izumi a look to convey that there was no helping it, but then he sighed and semi-forcefully took over one of the bags that Masumi was carrying.

“Forcing yourself isn't cool, Masumi,” he said sternly, looking at the younger boy. Masumi glared back at him, but let him carry the bag instead. As long as it wasn't the director doing heavy work, it was fine in Masumi's book, Tsuzuru assumed.

At least Izumi was able to make Masumi talk a little bit, even if all he did was answer her questions. Would he ever realize that getting close to someone involved talking? If he wasn't going to open up to the person he liked, how would they ever like him back? Besides, Masumi didn't ask any questions back, and it was safe to say that Tsuzuru probably knew more about Izumi than he did, simply because he'd actually  _ talked _ to her. He shook his head. Why was he even thinking about this? It was Masumi's problem...

At home, Tsuzuru gathered all the things they needed for pancakes on the table. Sakuya and Citron came over to help, so he had Citron cut up some fruit and let Sakuya prepare the dough through instructions Tsuzuru read from a recipe he looked up on his phone.

Masumi was helping the director to put away her groceries, but then joined them, although he didn't make much of an effort to help out and just watched them. When the batter looked good, Tsuzuru put two pans on the stove and started baking. He was used to working with two pans, yet that still took forever when making pancakes for about ten hungry boys.

When he was about halfway through the batter, the finished pancakes piling up, he looked at Masumi and Sakuya. They were having a slightly awkward conversation that consisted of Sakuya trying really hard and Masumi being mainly evasive.

Citron had already finished cutting the fruit they bought, and was now eagerly setting the table.

“Sakuya, Masumi... would you guys like to try making pancakes too?” Tsuzuru asked, thinking that maybe letting them do something together would help their conversation out. He had a feeling neither of them really had many chances to do this kind of thing which had been so natural for Tsuzuru.

Sakuya immediately agreed. He jumped up and happily took the spatula Tsuzuru handed him. Masumi followed, his expression unchanging. There was a second spatula in one of the drawers for Masumi to use. 

Tsuzuru showed them how to pour in the batter, and even it out by tilting the pan. “When the surface is dry and the outer sides gain colour, the pancake is ready to flip. You don't have to do the cool flippy thing, just use the spatula, that's hard enough.”

He let them try it out themselves, making pancakes wasn't all that hard as long as the pan was hot enough to bake them nice and quick, which Tsuzuru had learned by experience.

“Have you ever made pancakes, Masumi-kun?” Sakuya asked.

“No.”

“Me neither... Oh wait, yes, we made pancakes once in middle school. That was fun!”

“Do you ever answer with a sentence, Masumi?” Tsuzuru asked exasperatedly.

“I do, sometimes. You complain so much.”

“Masumi-kun, he just wants you to have fun. Right, Tsuzuru-kun?”

Tsuzuru sighed. “Yeah, I suppose so. I just want you to open up a little to us, if you can come for our heads during practice about our acting, can't you talk to us in general? We live together and all, but we barely know you.”

“That's right,” Citron agreed, joining them. “Let's do a question round!”

“After all this time?” Tsuzuru said with one eyebrow raised.

“Yeah! Let's do that with all of us when Itaru-san gets back!”

Tsuzuru laughed. “Yeah, he's going to love that.” Probably he’d  _ hate _ it, but who knew, maybe Itaru would consider it a game and like it more than expected.

\--

In the end, it had already gotten pretty late by the time Itaru came home. Tsuzuru and Sakuya had just finished up doing the dishes, and Sakuya had gone to his room. Tsuzuru heard the door open and something clattered.

“Oh- shit.”

He recognized the lazy-sounding curse, so Tsuzuru went to take a look at what was going on. Itaru was carrying a plastic convenience store bag, and swayed on his feet. He had somehow knocked over the umbrella stand near the door, and seemed uncertain if he should put it back up or not.

“Itaru-san?” Tsuzuru said, with rising certainty that Itaru had done the opposite of what he'd told him before. “Are you drunk?”

“No...what are you-” Itaru lifted his head, then realized who spoke to him. “Oh, Tsuzuru. Hi. I’m good.” Itaru often sounded slow when speaking but now his words faded into a drawl.

Tsuzuru clicked his tongue in annoyance.  _ Yeah, right. _ He went up to the older man and put Itaru's arm over his own shoulders. After covering up for two older brothers, Tsuzuru knew ‘drunk’ when he saw it.

“No, you're not. I thought you weren't going to drink much and come home early.”

“Ohhh,” Itaru said, and then burst out in a giggling fit.

Tsuzuru had never seen Itaru drunk, and he was certain that the gamer would have kept true to his word just so he could come home and play videogames, but apparently he'd guessed wrong.

“You sound...like my girlfriend...”

“You have a girlfriend?” Tsuzuru asked, quite shocked to hear such news.

“Nooo, Tsuzuru...lol.” Itaru giggled again, leaning heavily on Tsuzuru for support.

Tsuzuru sighed and looked at Itaru with a stern look on his face. He was pretty angry at Itaru for getting wasted before opening night, but at the same time he worried about him, and didn't know where to begin his lecture.

“I should get you to your room,” he said, more to himself than to Itaru. He half-dragged Itaru along, opened the door and dumped Itaru onto the couch. Looking down at Itaru who hung onto the couch with about as much grace as a sack of potatoes, he sighed again.

“Stay there, I'm getting you water.”

He decided that the lecture could wait until Itaru would actually listen, and left to get a bottle of water and a glass from the kitchen. Once he got back, Itaru had turned around on the couch, now facing the back rest.

“Hey, are you awake?” Tsuzuru patted his shoulder. “You should drink some water first.”

Itaru grumbled, but turned to Tsuzuru, and stared at him for a long time with his face expressionless. Tsuzuru pulled him up so he sait up straight.

“Drink,” Tsuzuru said, holding the glass out to him. Itaru took it, and took a sip. He finished it and almost dropped the glass. Damn, how much did he have? Was he always like this when drunk?

“Tsuzuru...” Itaru mumbled, reaching out with his hand. Tsuzuru was sitting down on the floor next to the couch, and thought that Itaru wanted some more water, so he poured some into the glass. But instead, Itaru touched his face, rather clumsily attempting to do what? Cup his cheek?

Tsuzuru flushed and backed away. “What are you doing?”

Itaru simply grinned.

“You sure like giving me a hard time,” Tsuzuru said softly. He pushed the glass into Itaru's hands and watched him drink that as well. He hoped his co-actor would be okay tomorrow. They had their opening night, and if he was going to have a hangover, Izumi would be livid.

“You said you wouldn't drink much.”

He was just observing Itaru now, as he again turned around on the couch. Suddenly, he sat up. Looked around confused and then pointed at the plastic bag.

“My phone...”

Tsuzuru took the bag and looked inside. Indeed, Itaru's phone was in there. He took it and handed it over. Apparently being drunk didn't make Itaru forget about his mobile games. He watched Itaru open up some game, play a bit, and then drop his phone on the floor.

“You're so far gone,” Tsuzuru mumbled, picked up the phone and put it on the table.

“Tsuzuru...” Itaru reached out for him again, but this time Tsuzuru took his hand and held it instead. He felt like that was more appropriate, and although it still made something stir in his chest, he thought Itaru might get some comfort from it.

They stayed like that for a while, Itaru lying down, his eyes closed, and Tsuzuru on the floor, their locked hands resting on the couch. At least until Itaru moved again, sat up and looked at the door.

“Toilet...”

“Can you go by yourself?” Tsuzuru asked, worried about both the act of going to the toilet, and the reason why he needed to go.

“'m fine,” Itaru replied, getting up. He still looked unsteady, but he made it to the door safely, and Tsuzuru decided to follow him, just in case. But Itaru actually made it, went to the toilet, peed (a lot, as far as Tsuzuru could hear), and came out. He washed his hands and splashed water in his face. That was kind of a good sign.

On his way out, he looked at Tsuzuru, as if he only now realized that he'd been there.

“Are you all right?” Tsuzuru asked.

“Better...yeah.” Itaru took a deep breath and went back to his room. Tsuzuru followed him, and he had the impression that his head was indeed clearing a little. His way of walking was also less wobbly.

In front of the door, Itaru turned to the younger boy.

“You don't have to stay,” he told him, but in Tsuzuru's ears it didn't sound very convincing.

“I'd rather watch over you a bit longer,” he replied.

Itaru shrugged and left the door open for Tsuzuru to follow him in. He sat down on the couch and checked his phone, but put it back on the table. Tsuzuru waited a moment before he sat down next to him. Itaru looked at him questioningly.

“You said you wouldn't drink much,” Tsuzuru reminded him again.

Itaru sighed. “I got carried away...they kept pouring out nihonshu, the sweet type that I like, and before I knew it I had too much.” He looked at Tsuzuru and gave him an apologetic smile. “Sorry.”

“Well, no need to say sorry to me but what if you feel sick tomorrow?”

“I'll be fine...I already feel much better.”

“Okay then...” Tsuzuru wasn't sure if he could trust Itaru, but he didn't pursue the topic any further. He'd never been drunk himself, obviously, only watched his older brothers get wasted on rare occasions. Well, maybe not so rare because he suspected that both of them were skilled at hiding it from their parents.

Despite the whole 'I feel better', Itaru still seemed out of it, and he shivered. It wasn't late yet, or Tsuzuru would definitely have made him go to bed that instant, but instead he sat beside him. Let Itaru lean against him. It made his heart race to have him so close that he could smell both the alcohol on his breath and the shampoo on his hair.

Tsuzuru found it slightly uncomfortable like this, so he mumbled an apology and let Itaru rest against his chest, rather than his shoulder, and put his arm around him. First his hand rested on the back rest of the couch, but then that hurt his shoulder, so he finally, carefully, with his heart beating way too hard, put his arm on Itaru's side.

Itaru gave a sleepy hum of approval, making himself more comfortable against Tsuzuru. They stayed like that for a while, Tsuzuru quite certain that Itaru had fallen asleep again, but he didn't have it in him to wake him up this time. He was pretty comfortable himself, and dozed off.

An hour later, a notification tone from Itaru's phone woke up Tsuzuru, and he decided it was time to put Itaru to bed.

“Itaru-san...Hey, Itaru?”

He was having a very clear flashback to that time when Itaru had made him play his video game.

“Wake up and go to bed,” he said, patting Itaru's arm.

Itaru groaned, still groggy with sleep and the effects of alcohol. He opened his eyes finally, and stared at Tsuzuru for quite a long time, thinking, maybe, or just attempting to wake up.

“You should go have some proper sleep.”

Tsuzuru lifted his arm, allowing Itaru to sit up properly. The adult put his fingers to his forehead and groaned again.

“Ugh...headache... Where's that...water?”

Tsuzuru reached out for the bottle he'd brought, and poured him a glass full.

Itaru took the glass with a nod and finished half of it in one go.

“Will you be okay?” Tsuzuru asked, leaning his arms on his knees, looking at Itaru.

“I'll be fine- oh fuck  _ my _ life.” Itaru suddenly put the glass down, and reached for his phone. It was twenty past nine. Itaru cursed again, while Tsuzuru just sat there, confused. And a little thirsty himself.

Itaru pushed himself up from the couch, swayed, and turned on the game console that stood on a shelf under the tv. He looked around, grabbed his headset and controller and threw himself back into the couch.

_ Gaming? _ Tsuzuru thought.  _ Really? _

He wasn't sure if he should just...go. He should. There was no reason to stay, and he didn't even feel like scolding Itaru for starting a game when he'd just woken up from a drunk nap.  _ He should. _

But no, he stayed there, although he grabbed the water bottle and drank from it.

Itaru logged in and Tsuzuru was pretty sure it was the same game that he'd made a character for. He did some things in the menu, and went straight into a...a what, a quest?

As he did, some messages popped up in a chat window.

<L8>

<taruchi u fucker where were u????>

<ur late>

“Sorry noobs, got a lil wasted.”

<wow normie>

<not pog>

“Shut it and focus.”

Tsuzuru sat back and watched the game go on for a while. The graphics were pretty cool, but there was so much happening on the screen. He could barely tell how many player characters there were, until he saw that they were listed on the side in order of attack. Honestly, it just seemed confusing.

After a while, he had had enough of it, and got up. He turned and walked behind the couch towards the door. Then suddenly, Itaru spoke – not to his fellow gamers, but to him – with his more gentle voice.

“Thanks, Tsuzuru. I owe you.”

“Uh, it's nothing, really,” Tsuzuru answered when he turned back to look, but Itaru's eyes were glued to the screen as he tapped away on the controller. He also said something to his gamer friends about how he just spoke to someone else. (Oh, the kid you recruited as healer? Yes, the very same.)

Tsuzuru left the room feeling a little strange. He hoped Itaru would get proper rest before tomorrow, and if he wasn't in top shape, Tsuzuru would feel guilty about it. But it really wasn't his place to be telling an adult what to do anyway.

Later on, as he crawled in bed, he was reminded of how cozy Itaru had fallen asleep against him. It really wasn't such a bad feeling, either. He liked being there for Itaru. Somehow he couldn't leave the man alone, for better or worse. And also...also he smells nice. Looks too pretty, no matter what he's wearing or doing. Not fair...he shouldn't be allowed to be... _ that _ pretty... With those thoughts, Tsuzuru drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, as always. Like and subscribe...
> 
> This isn't youtube. Okay. Comments are SUPER appreciated. Slow burn isn't my forte and neither is writing long stories haha. RIP.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been so busy with work and keep adding wips into my files... Sorry this update is so late!

Everyone was feeling somewhat giddy when they got changed into their costumes. Finally, opening night was there, and even Izumi was nervous. Tsuzuru could tell that she was only pretending to be calm, as she now and then peeked out to check how the seats were filling up. It wasn't a full house, but they did manage to sell tickets after their TV-appearance and street act promotions.

They went from talking excitedly to long spells of silence, and since this was their first show, they had not yet figured out how to best prepare themselves. Masumi ended up leaving as soon as he could and was found repeating some of his lines in the backstage area. Sakuya went through a bit of sudden panic, but was saved by Citron, and Tsuzuru just stared at the floor, repeating his first few lines inside his head.

Itaru seemed relaxed. He at least had no hang-over, and he was just fiddling with his phone until ten minutes before showtime, when he suddenly drew a long and deep breath, and shut his phone down. He stretched his back, got up, took his sword, and mumbled something that sounded more like a line from one of his games than something Tybalt would say. Either way, if this was going to help him stay calm or get into his role, that was fine.

The ‘five minutes before showtime’ announcement came, and they all headed out to get into their positions. This being the first real show, Izumi stayed backstage and was joined by Matsukawa once the lobby was cleared. The welcome message played and the lights went out, while the stage spots turned on. Showtime.

Tsuzuru's heart was beating fast as he waited, listening to the scenes played out on stage. Sakuya and Masumi, Romeo and Julius... both rejected by the girl they liked, they fought, but realized they'd be better off as friends. Cue Mercutio, Tsuzuru stepped onto the stage, in view, in the blinding stage light. Sakuya was there, looking at him. The lines he'd practiced so often rolled off his tongue with no problem.

So far so good, everything came quite natural. He remembered his lines, his moves. Tybalt appeared. He and Itaru squared off in the middle of the stage, the fight going smoothly as well. Itaru- Itaru looked gorgeous. A brief moment he'd let himself be taken aback by Tybalt's handsomeness, but he recovered quickly. He had to.

Mercutio then gets struck down in battle, causing Romeo to wound Tybalt gravely. Romeo and Julius realize they cannot be together in the city of Verona, and receive help from the priest to, well, elope. 

Citron's stage presence was amazing, his lines perfect. Great. Tsuzuru’s part was done now, and he felt a lot more relaxed once he calmed down backstage. He could finally hear the audience's reactions, their laughter, the dramatic tension, and finally, at the last scene, the applause.

The Mankai Company theater wasn't large, and opening night was by no means sold out, but it still sounded thunderous to them. Tsuzuru grinned at Citron and Itaru when their eyes met. He felt proud and happy and a little giddy. The other two grinned back, likely with similar feelings, and the curtain closed. 

Masumi and Sakuya joined them backstage, sweat fresh on their faces, but Sakuya's smile was as bright as day, and even Masumi looked somewhat content. Izumi hurried over, and ushered the whole troupe back on stage for the curtain call. As the curtains opened, showering them in stage light, another round of applause sounded loud and wonderful in their ears. They bowed, and then took each other's hands as Sakuya spoke his words of thanks, and bowed again.

The first showing of Spring Troupe's Romeo & Julius was a success. Nothing wild, but it was their first ever completed show, and that was victory worthy enough. Everyone laughed, and compared to the dress rehearsal, they were much more relaxed afterwards. A huge amount of stress fell from their shoulders, although they still had a bunch of shows to perform. But if this went well, gradually they would get less nervous and everything would run more smoothly.

They had shows every other day, and two on the weekend. Every completed performance brought them joy and pride. Before they knew it, the finale had arrived and they all mentally prepared to make the last show, which had somehow sold out, the best one yet.

By now they had sort of developed their own routines before each show, and even if they were still nervous, they had the confidence that things would work out..

Tsuzuru discovered that if he could  _ start _ saying his line, the rest of the words would usually follow, and the fact that most of his lines were based on character interaction made them flow naturally too.

But what made him the happiest, was the backstage moment he had with Itaru after their fight scene. Every time, Itaru would give him a one-armed hug and say a soft 'Otsu~' that made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. He attributed it to having a sense of accomplishment, but something told him there was more to it, and it got harder and harder to deny it.

He _ liked _ Itaru. He was in limbo between not daring to look at him and not being able to tear his eyes away. Every motion, every subtle expression change, anything he did could take his breath away. He thought he'd gotten used to how handsome Itaru was, but no, he just became more beautiful every time he cast his eyes on the man.

Unfortunately Tsuzuru had no idea how to deal with this. He almost looked at Masumi with envy, always declaring his love for the director. But what could he do? He was just an average guy, emphasis on  _ guy _ . Quite a bit younger than Itaru was, too. Why would a handsome, hard-working (sort of) elite businessman with a game addiction have any interest in a permanently exhausted student/playwright?

As this dawned on him, his infatuation faded a little, although he still looked at Itaru with a smile that showed affection. Still had his gaze on him longer than average. Still woke up with his name on his lips. Nothing else changed, he thought. Itaru still gave him the one-armed hugs backstage, Tsuzuru still kept an eye out for him, worried about him gaming until late at night while they had shows going on. 

But he didn't visit him in his room anymore, until one free evening, Itaru came into his room and dragged him along.

“Itaru, this isn't the time to play games!”

“Wrong! Now is exactly the time! There's a limited item drop for that level so we're gonna do it.”

“Eeh?”

“It's only nine in the evening, Tsuzuru. This isn't going to last all night,so don't worry, all right?”

After entering the room, Tsuzuru sat down on the couch, a little nervous. He'd only played the tutorial levels once, so he had absolutely no confidence in his abilities to play the game properly, and definitely not at the same level or speed as pro's (were they pro's?) like Itaru and his group. 

He took the controller Itaru handed him, and leaned back, his eyes following every move Itaru made to get ready. He wasn’t at ease, he didn’t feel ready or prepared at all.

“Itaru? I haven't played this ever since, remember?” His voice betrayed his nerves.

“You'll be fine. I'll help,” Itaru replied with a hint of impatience. Maybe his teammates were already waiting.

“Okay...”

Itaru logged on, and went straight from the starting map to the quest they wanted to complete. He had his headset on and talked to the people on the team. Apparently not everyone was ready yet, and in that time, Itaru took his headset off and turned to Tsuzuru. His expression wasn’t unkind but there was a hint of gamer-determination in his eyes that seemed alien to Tsuzuru.

“You remember what to look at, right? Those are the LP bars of the players, try not to let them drop under 25 percent.  _ Do _ always heal the character with the most damage first. Your healer has potions to take if he gets hit somehow, but he should be pretty safe. You can access them from the drop-down menu after you complete your action. You can likely just stand in the same place to heal, 'cause I got you a bunch of long-distance staves.”

“Uh... okay.” Tsuzuru couldn't really say he got it, but it's not like he had much of a choice in the matter. If he just focused on his task, he should be fine, right?

“Do you know the controls? You mainly need to select and confirm, so I think you're good- Oh.” He looked at the screen and put his headset on again. “Yeah, we're set.”

If he had to be honest, Tsuzuru was stupidly nervous about this. He watched the screen, fingers tight around the controller, a small frown on his concentrated face. He had more jitters starting a game he wasn't used to playing than he'd been on their opening night.

But then Itaru looked at him and flashed him an encouraging grin. “You got this, Tsuzuru.”

“Uh, 'kay.” He nodded. Not convinced, but he'd do his best. Same way as he’d do his best to ignore the heat on his cheeks, but after that, Itaru's eyes were glued to the screen as the team of characters charged into the quest. Tsuzuru was kind of sad that they skipped the story parts, but the others had probably all read it before.

As the battle started, too many things happened on-screen to follow. As instructed, Tsuzuru kept his focus on the LP bars and stats of the characters, healing others every time it was his turn to move. There was one other player who helped with healing, but he seemed to be better at offensive magic.

Tsuzuru's character stayed in the back and barely got any damage, but some of the other guys got into dangerous territory (a very short, bright red LP bar) before Tsuzuru managed to save them, just in time. His hands were starting to get sweaty and he got super antsy during those moments. Sometimes Itaru helped him out, telling him about any status effects and which items to use for them, but in general all he really had to do was heal the others.

Itaru had said it wouldn't last for hours, but the raid still lasted nearly two hours.Near the end, when the monster they fought was almost defeated, Tsuzuru found himself, leaning forward, biting his lower lip in concentration as he waited for his turn.

Then finally,  _ finally _ , the monster lost its lp. Not all of the team members survived, some could not be healed before receiving fatal damage, but even so, when the monster went down, Tsuzuru heard loud whoops and screaming leaking from the headset, and Itaru shouted as well, pulling a clenched fist towards himself as a sign of victory.

Then, he turned to Tsuzuru who was just smiling faintly. Completely out of the blue, Itaru hugged him, kissing his cheek. Tsuzuru's eyes went wide and he froze, he just sat there, holding the controller in his lap while Itaru's arms hung around his neck.

“We did it! That was epic!” The embrace didn't last long, and Itaru himself seemed to make no point of that...kiss, but Tsuzuru felt his cheeks burn. He slowly lifted a hand to touch where Itaru's lips had been, and cleared his throat.

“Yeah...uhm, congrats.” He didn't really know how to feel about the game itself, but because the others seemed so excited, he understood that it meant a lot to them. Didn't Itaru mention some limited items or something? But the best thing Tsuzuru got from this wasn't the items, nor that kiss on the cheek he'd gotten. It was Itaru's wide grin as the older man looked at him.

“Couldn't have done it without you, no lie. Thanks a bunch.”

Tsuzuru nodded. He wasn't sure how true that was. After all it wasn't him who raised the character's level to - he didn't know how high - yet enough for this kind of thing. He just did what he was told, assisting the rest.

Itaru's grin faded into a normal smile as he laughed a bit, claiming his loot from the battle. Tsuzuru couldn't look away from him, he had been holding his breath for a bit, and suddenly realized it when he opened his mouth and gasped for air. Did Itaru even notice the effect he had on Tsuzuru? Did he even remember kissing his cheek?

He believed that Itaru wasn't the type of guy to just do that, even if he'd had a moment of victory and elation. But on the other hand, what other explanation was there? Itaru sure liked having Tsuzuru around, but it was probably more out of convenience than affection. And that would have been his own fault for mothering him so much. He was just being silly, right?

Tsuzuru sighed. “Can I go now?”

Itaru hummed and turned back to Tsuzuru. There was a hint of disappointment in his expression, but he smiled. “Sure. We do have a performance tomorrow. I'll be counting on you as usual, Mercutio.”

“At least you remember that,” Tsuzuru replied a bit exasperatedly. “Anyway, good night, please go to bed soon, Itaru-san.”

“Hmhm, I will. Good night, Tsuzuru. Thanks again, you really saved our butts.”

With a crooked smile the younger man nodded again and left the room. Why could he not stop worrying over an adult? He touched his cheek again. It was such a short kiss and so in-the-moment but for Tsuzuru, it was  _ more _ than that. If he allowed it to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! Haaahhh something finally happened? I guess? Hmm???


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is love?
> 
> (baby don't hurt me)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELP I've made you guys wait so long and yet this is all I have to offer *sweats*
> 
> I guess me and others who are super busy at work would love to clobber anyone who talks about 'quarantine' bc dang I wish I could stay home again. Anw, stay safe, 2020 is almost done but this shitty virus still be going around~

More and more, with each passing day, Tsuzuru wondered what exactly it meant to be in love. What  _ is _ love, even? There wasn't anyone he could or wanted to discuss it with, either. He thought of contacting Kazunari, but was afraid that he'd be way too nosy and not very helpful. Other than that, he could talk to his brother Meguru, but he was hard to get a hold of, and likely didn't have much advice to give that Tsuzuru couldn't think of himself.

So instead, he read some articles and blog posts online, out of interest and just a faint need to read about other people's experiences. Some were nice, some not so much, as could be expected. 

He’d never questioned his sexuality either, but this was far too real, so he didn’t question it now, either. If he could decide he was truly (madly, deeply) in love with Itaru, then that was that. He rolled back in his desk chair and sighed. Between good and bad experiences, the real answer must, as always, be somewhere in the middle.

On top of that, Tsuzuru had the feeling – or maybe it was just his imagination – that Itaru was watching him more closely. It seemed to happen often now that, when Tsuzuru looked at the older man, he just happened to avert his gaze, or look back, and smile a little. Was he teasing him? But why?

Seriously, though, what was this?

What was he supposed to do?

If he did actually like Itaru, what would happen if he confessed? Could he stand being rejected? Wasn't it better to just never mention it, ever? But what if, maybe, Itaru had feelings for him too? In that case... they could...

He covered his face with his hands and groaned. It earned him a displeased look from Masumi, who was working on his homework.

“Can you not do that when you're not writing?” he said coolly.

“Sorry, sorry. I'll try.”

To avoid annoying Mazumi more while his train of thought kept running, Tsuzuru decided to go cool his head outside. He climbed the stairs to the balcony and gazed at the empty garden. It was a little unkempt and messy, but he liked it nonetheless.

A while later, after mulling over the same thoughts for too long and not coming to a conclusion, he heard footsteps and the door opening behind him. He looked over his shoulder and was met by Citron, who's face instantly broke open in a wide smile.

“Oh! Tsuzuru is also gauzing at the stars!”

The writer's lip twitched into a half-grin. “It's 'gazing'. And it's actually cloudy tonight.”

Which was true, but there was this space between two clouds through which the moon could be seen, and for a moment, they both just looked up at it in silence.

“The moon is beautiful, isn't it?” Citron said, his voice clear and almost void of accent.

“I'm not answering that,” Tsuzuru huffs.

“Ah, then I shall reply for you. 'I might as well die.'”

“You know of that phrase, huh?”

“Why of course! I've studied lots of Japanese culture!” Citron turned to Tsuzuru with a wide smile, but the smile didn't reach his cool blue-grey eyes. That was a little unusual.

“What brought you here, Citron-san?”

“Ah...” The foreign man looked down for a bit, caught and questioned. “I saw the moon from the window. That view is the same everywhere. Except... it's daytime in my country now.”

Tsuzuru nodded, having a feeling that he understood what Citron tried to say. He paused for a moment before he continued. “You must miss it.”

Hmm, stating the obvious right there. But this was Citron...and he often did things that made him seem superficial and always happy, but it was hard to believe that was really the case. 

“I do. I miss many a thing, and my family.”

“I guess it's hard for you, being so far away from them.”

“Do you miss your family, Tsuzuru? All your brothers?”

Tsuzuru sighed, looked at his hands on the railing. “I do. But they're not as far away as your family is. This isn't about me, Citron-san. I may not be able to offer much help, but you don't have to force yourself to be happy all the time, or to avoid talking about your home country. I know you tell Sakuya a lot of stories. I wouldn't mind hearing a couple either.”

“Oh. Tsuzuru.”

Citron's usual peppiness was gone, and Tsuzuru could tell the young man was thinking deeply, looking for the right words maybe.

“I tell Sakuya happy stories, exciting ones. And I love my country very much, but I did not like where I was. Others did not like it, either. I thought it would be easier if I left, so I did.”

“Hmm...” Tsuzuru studied him, but didn't question him further. He didn’t want to drag anything out of him that might make him more upset, but he’d definitely listen if Citron ever were to talk.    
  
“I hope you can see your family soon enough,” he said, carefully putting a hand on the other's shoulder.

Citron looked back at Tsuzuru, his bright eyes shimmering. He put his own hand on top of Tsuzuru's and smiled. “Thank you.”

Tsuzuru then realized that maybe... Citron had more experience in life, so who knows, maybe he knew a thing or two about love. He just hoped it wasn’t too much of a weird flex and change of subject.

“Hey, Citron-san?”

“Yes, Tsuzuru?”

“Uhm, I hope it's not rude to ask, but have you ever been in love?”

“In love?”

Citron raised his brows. It was almost comical. Almost. If it weren't for the sad expression that followed. Tsuzuru immediately regretted his question as the other man shook his head.

“Never,” he said, the word barely a whisper. “I was not allowed to think of such things, really.”

“I see. I'm sorry I brought it up, I-”

Citron looked at Tsuzuru and quickly, unexpectedly, put his hand flat to Tsuzuru's chest.

“No need to be sorry. I wish to help. What is this about love?”

Taken aback, Tsuzuru needed a moment to phrase his question the right way. He was uncertain of his own feelings. And if he should or should not act on them. But wasn't the way he reacted to everything Itaru did enough proof?

“I... I don't know if I'm in love. And if I am, what to do about it.”

Citron pulled his hand back and leaned on the balcony, looking up at the sky.

“I shall give you a question. Then you think about the answer. And then think about what would change if you would confess.”

Tsuzuru nodded. “Okay.”

“Then, do you think about this person when you wake up and go to sleep? Do you wish to be close and protect them? Do they make your heart flutter? If the answer is yes to all, then I think that is love.”

“All right.”

“Give it some think, Tsuzuru.”

Citron amicably put an arm around Tsuzuru's shoulder and pulled him close. Citron's hand felt warm, his body too. Tsuzuru took a shaky breath before relaxing into the man's hold. Well then. Time to figure things out.

Tsuzuru and Citron parted in silence, one giving the other an encouraging nod.

Despite the help he received, he still just found himself thinking. Did he wake up thinking of Itaru? He couldn't say. Did he wish to be close? Definitely. But it also scared him a little. Tsuzuru was well aware of how overly considerate of Itaru he had been. Probably bad enough for others to notice, too. His heart? Definitely could go in overdrive when near Itaru.

Okay yeah, he was clearly in love. Trying to deny it would be foolish, and it wasn't even working well. Now, imagine he'd confess. What's the worst that could happen?

Itaru hating him.  _ No _ . Itaru leaving the company. That would actually be bad. They had already needed to try hard to keep him. Alternatively, he could move out of the dorms and commute. But he'd still have to suffer being in a troupe with Tsuzuru, the silly college boy who was in love with him. Tsuzuru had a hard time imagining Itaru would go that far in order to keep acting.

On the flipside, what if... What if Itaru agreed to date him? Tsuzuru really didn't see why a guy like Itaru would want to do that, but on the other hand, he seemed to at least have a good time being near Tsuzuru (even if it was convenient), and hadn't Itaru smooched his cheek? Surely that meant  _ something _ . Tsuzuru bit his lip. Dating Itaru... Actually  _ dating _ the handsomest man he's ever seen? The mere idea was a little daunting.

And of course there's the option that he would just get rejected and nothing would really change. That wouldn't be so bad. So unless Itaru decided to up and leave the whole troupe over this, maybe it was worth taking a risk. Surely Tsuzuru could handle getting rejected. It would be no big deal, just...a little sad. That was fair. It happened to everyone, right?

Sighing, he poured himself a glass of water and finished it in one go. Then maybe after their run of Romeo & Julius was done, he could confess to Itaru. If the time was right. Definitely not before the run was over, that would be  _ too _ risky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU FOR READING sgjgigjrùgiojzrg

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Interestingly, tsuzu/ita is the most popular ship for Tsuzuru in Japan (and yes, Tsuzuru tops~)


End file.
